I'm Scared!!!

So, our little Buttercup was born in May and I have found the transition from 3 kids to 4 to be surprisingly easy. I have even thought that if I didn't have such a hard time breathing while I was pregnant i would probably have at least 2 more. After all we do make adorable children! :) As most of you know, Brian has been out of work since 3 days before Buttercup was born and has been my right hand man. Well he's been gone most of this week (including an over nighter) doing work for our brother in law and it has become abundantly clear to me that I'm a total wimp! Brian has been gone lots of times this summer and I handled things just fine and I thought I had it all together. This week was different because I actually had a lot to. Before, I just stayed close to home, planned trips to the store around Brian's schedule, and took it really easy. Too easy! I thought it was difficult taking 3 kids to Wal-Mart with me when I was pregnant...PIECE...OF....CAKE....compared to taking 4!!! It's like the Multi-Tasking Olympics! Buttercup is usually pretty good. My main worry with her is keeping her brothers from knocking her car seat off of the cart and occasionally I'll have to carry her around but that's to be expected since she thinks her umbilical cord is still attached. :) Huey is pretty helpful I have to say but he always has a big of the gimmes. Our money just seems to burn a hole right through his little pocket and he likes to rile his brothers up just to torment me. With Dewey it's, stop climbing in the shelves Dewey, stop sitting on the packages of paper towels on the shelf Dewey, stop touching everything Dewey, ok now pick all of those up that you knocked off the shelf Dewey, no you can't have that Dewey, not today Dewey, maybe next time Dewey, it's not your birthday Dewey so NO you can't have that, because I said so Dewey, and my mom's old favorite, we'll see Dewey. With Louie I'm constantly saying, stay by the cart Louie, come on Louie, get over here Louie, where's Louie?, get off the floor Louie, stop running in front of people's carts or you're going to get run over Louie, put that down Louie, LOUIE!!!! And there is always at least one trip to the bathroom. The whole time I'm trying to keep the boys from wreaking havoc on Wal-Mart or getting lost I'm trying to focus on my list, get the best bargain for my money, check out all the sales, keep from getting kicked out, and not to completely lose it by the time I'm done. Like I said before, Buttercup is permanently attached to me but occasionally she'll let her dad hold her so I can get something done but this week has been very difficult. I knew it would be. I knew she was getting spoiled rotten but I just couldn't help myself. She is most likely our last baby and I just can't believe how fast she is growing and I just want to hold her as much as I can before she reaches that age where the only time you can hold them longer than like 2 seconds is when they are asleep or sick. She is the sweetest little thing, too! I just can't help myself! So now that reality is sinking in, school will be starting in a few days along with new schedules, and I know that someday, soon I hope, Brian will go back to work and I'll be back to doing all of my duties alone, I'm scared. Very, very scared!