Just have to get it off my chest!

When I was a very young girl I learned a very important lesson from my big brother Rob that has stayed with me through out my entire life. Don't EVER, EVER agree to scratch someone's back for a football minute!!!! Especially someone who understands the game well enough to happen to pick a minute that will last FOR...EVER!!!!!!! My brother Rob watches every sport ever invented. Therefore, I grew up watching every sport ever invented. I used to love to watch basketball and football games. He of course not only watches professional games but college games as well. I enjoyed watching sports so much I would often skip out on sunday school just to watch the Denver Broncos play. I also ADORED the Chicago Bulls!!! Well, when Brian and I met he loved the Dallas Cowboys and the Utah Jazz and we only had one television so we just chose to not watch any games because it just didn't work out. After a few years Brian picked up watching Dallas Cowboys games again but by then none of my old players I knew and loved on the Broncos were even playing anymore and it just wasn't any fun for me to watch anymore. I just started watching Dallas games too and I really like them now. I still root for the Broncos too but I'm more of a Dallas fan these days. All I had to do was watch a Dallas game occasionally but he never watched any other sports. It was WONDERFUL!!! The last several years he has decided he is a real die hard sports fan! He watches EVERY game of EVERY sport, college AND professional. He even watches games of teams he doesn't like. He's turned into ROB!!!We live with Brian's mom now. So does his brother, Chris. Chris has always watched sports like my brother Rob. That's all they ever watch I swear! SPORTS!!! CONSTANTLY!!! I don't know how much more of this I can bear. I know we have several t.v.'s in the house and I should just watch something but I also really like to spend time with Brian. So seriously though, what is up with watching every.single.game?!?! Including the ones of teams that you HATE?!!! UGGGHHH!!! I just had to get that off my chest!
~Did you know that if you buy a gun at Walmart you have to sign your whole life away, you have to do it between the hours of 9am and 7pm and have a background check, be there for 2 hours for the entire process (well in my case anyway) and it really, really bites?!!! Then once the torture is complete they make a manager walk you to your car with the gun to make sure that you don't give into your frustrations and go postal! If Brian ever wants another gun...I don't care if it's a gift or not...HE has to buy it HIMSELF!!! Oy vey!!!
~We made super cute ornaments today for the tree. Last year we did it too and it was so much fun and easy I decided to do it every year.
~I finally have all of my Christmas shopping done. Finished this morning. Yes it's Christmas Eve and I just finished today but Brian just got paid yesterday so I didn't have a choice.
~Brian's brother Joshua is home for Christmas!!! HOORAY!!! He's the baby of the family. We all adore Joshua! The adults and the kids! He's awesome and we are all so happy to have him around. He is such a nice, fun, happy guy and we miss him when he's away! So glad he gets to be here for 2 weeks!!!
~I finally watched It's A Wonderful Life the other day. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE that show! It's one of my all time favorite movies! My mom and I are the only ones who like it in my family so we used to watch it together every year. Now I torture Brian and the kids with it. It's just so good I don't get how anyone wouldn't just love watching it year after year after year!!!
~I'm trying really hard to be happy and not feel sad about not seeing my family this year on Christmas. I'm trying not to think about my parents sitting at home on Christmas day all alone because we are all away. It's just been super sad for me this year for some reason. My brother Rob's birthday is on Christmas day and I always miss him lots that day and his beautiful family. I'm missing my sisters and their families and Nate and his family. I can't listen to I'll Be Home For Christmas without crying this year. I'm such a boob! I'm trying to not be bummed out so I can still make it super fun and happy for the kids. It's just hard because as adults we realize the joy for us comes from interacting with and enjoying time with the people in our lives that we love so much. I just hope all of my family members have a wonderful day and that they know how much I love each and every one of them!!! Merry Christmas to them and to all of you!! And happy birthday Robby!!!! (And happy birthday to my sister Katie's husband Chris who's birthday is also Christmas day!!! We love him too!!)

I posted some pics on Word From The Zoo today if you are invited to that blog check it out. If you aren't ask me for an invite!!

Random thoughts...

~You should always remember to pour your popcorn on a cookie sheet to let the unpopped kernels fall to the bottom and scoop the popped popcorn off and place in your bowl when making caramel corn. I hate biting into caramel corn and almost breaking my teeth on an unpopped kernel.
~Brian wants to get me an expensive present that we can't afford unless he calls it a Christmas/Birthday present since my birthday is in January. Part of me REALLY wants this expensive present but part of me hates to have one present. I mean really, you get 2 real gift getting days all year. Do you really want just one present...for the whole year? I'm still debating on that one. Usually we can't afford either but this year we can or it wouldn't even be an issue.
~Gracie is half crawling. She army crawls and real crawls sometimes. She is getting so big! She loves to play with her brother's cars and action figures and basically anything she can find to chew on. She has 2 teeth now. She is so happy and so pretty. She waves now. She is so much better at eating now which is nice. She is just pure joy!!!!
~Matthew is feeling so much better thank goodness!!!
~My teeth hurt any time I eat anything hot or especially cold. They have hurt for like a month and a half. I'm about to pull my teeth out by myself...anyone have a good set of plyers?!!!
~I MISS MY FAMILY!!! I've been married for 16 years now and we used to take turns spending Christmas with my family one year and Brian's the next until Zack was like 5 and we stopped. I wish we could be with my family this year. I'm especially lonely for them this year for some reason...
~Christmas time is so much fun!!! I just love it!!! It's almost over...
~Does anyone gave any good soup recipes to share? I just love soup this time of year!!! It's the best!!!
~I can't wait for New Year's Eve!! I just love it! We always have a fun little party and the kids just love it!
~Well, I hope everyone has a super fun Christmas!!! And the best New Year EVER!!!

Pneumonia......

Matthew couldn't breathe again when he woke up Friday morning. He puffed on the inhaler 3 times by 9:00 a.m. One time was after he had a fit because I wouldn't let him go to school. It was after all Hat Parade day and wear your p.j.'s to school day for kindergarten and Santa was coming to visit the kindergarten classes. He was NOT happy to be missing it all. When I was in the shower he came running in saying he couldn't breathe. He was panting and couldn't breathe enough to inhale the albuterol when I tried the inhaler on him so I took him to the emergency room. His oxygen level was 83 and they did a chest xray and discovered he has pneumonia. They gave him a breathing treatment and steroids and put him on oxygen and he still wasn't doing well so they admitted him to the hospital. This was the first time one of our children was hospitalized and it freaked us out but we are so grateful they took such great care of him! They gave him i.v. antibiotics and breathing treatments every 4 hours and steroids and he responded so well they let him come home Saturday morning. I was able to sleep in the room with him on my own bed so I could be close to him. My heart went out to those of you who have had children in the hospital for long periods of time. How scary it must have been and how difficult to watch your precious children suffer for so long. I am so grateful to live where we can just go right to the doctor or hospital when we or our children need treatment. Thank heavens for good doctors, attentive nurses, thoughtful volunteers, and friends and family to offer prayers. It has been a wonderful thing to live with Brian's mom and his brother Chris right now. They have helped us so much through swine flu, croop, other colds, and now Matthew's pneumonia and hospitalization. What a comfort it was to just be able to run him to the hospital and know that Gracie, Max, and Zack would be well taken care of!!! Matthew is doing so much better now and actually hated to leave the hospital. He enjoyed having his own t.v., making crafts with mom, having all of mom and dad's undivided attention, and being waited on hand and foot by us and the nurses. We're glad he can breathe again!!!! Breathing is good!!!!!!!!

Dear Santa,

Here is my Christmas list for this year.


~I would really, really appreciate it if I could not have to make dinner for the rest of the month. By dinner time I'm spent and the last thing I want to do is make dinner. I added crock pot meals to the menu thinking that would help the situation but I'm too busy (and lets face it, more than a little scatterbrained) to remember to actually put the food in the crock pot.
~Some cute "mom jeans". I like hip, and cool clothes but I have hips so it really hasn't been working for me. I also have a definite MOM belly after carrying 4 babies. I'm thinking if the jeans were designed really cute and fashionable on the bottom and a little like maternity jeans at the top but instead of being extra stretchy and low, the panel could be made from Spanks and go up extra high then they would be just about right for my body. That would be so great and Brian would especially love these since I wouldn't whine to him every.single.day about my stupid jeans.
~I would also appreciate having a computer that actually works ALL OF THE TIME!!!
~Oh, I was also thinking a lesbian life partner in addition to my husband would be nice. Not for the sex part of course but because I think it would be nice to have a partner that thinks like a woman, acts like a woman, and helps out like a woman. You know, someone that sees what needs to be done and just...does it! Without being asked!!! And when I have conversations with them they would actually respond in the right places instead of just not really saying much or trying to solve the problem they would actually nod, say I know!! or really? or you have GOT to be kidding me?! or NO WAY!!! or stuff that generally lets you know you are having a conversation with a real life person instead of the wall. Also, they would help out with the house work and put the clothes away after I fold them and hang them on hangers since I really hate doing that! They would make the menus, do the grocery shopping, run the kids lunches to school when I forget to send them, plan the budget and make sure I stick to it, pay the bills, make sure the cars are clean and maintained and all the stuff I'm not such a big fan of so I can just hold my baby and enjoy every moment of her babyhood!!! OOOO and I could actually scrapbook once in a while and read books and write and quilt and sew. She would also go shopping with me and tell me what looks cute and what looks like crap. That would be super!!!
~Also, if it wouldn't be too much to ask, I could really use a good vacation! Maybe two of them even. A super nice, romantic, relaxing vacation with my husband and a really super fun, kid friendly one with the whole family. It's been TOOOO long!!!!!

Thanks Santa! You're the greatest!!!
Love,
Tara
~

Too much fun!!!!!

This time of year is so much fun and so crazy! There just isn't time for a whole lot of cleaning!  I think I need a maid. Or at least a full weekend with nothing else to do but clean. That wouldn't be very fun of course. I guess we'll just be a mess until January........

My 2 favorite things....

Tonight I watched Julie and Julia. It is a combination of my two favorite forms of entertainment...blogging and cooking! It was very enjoyable! It is a true story about a woman that is feeling really lost and finds a way in her busy life to enjoy the love she has for writing by blogging. I can relate completely since as many of you know, I started this whole blogging thing during a melt down time in my life. I just didn't feel like my life had meaning or purpose beyond cooking, cleaning, laundry. UGH!!! I told Brian I felt like I had lost my joy.  I didn't know who I was anymore. I felt lost and confused and alone. Being a stay at home mom and wife is not very rewarding at times. Being a mom and wife in general isn't very rewarding at times. You work hard all day long and at the end of the day no one can tell what you did all day, including yourself, because it's all a mess again. It sometimes feels like you're trapped in the movie Groundhog Day. But if you know that is what you are meant to do it's a wonderful thing most of the time. I have my days of feeling really frustrated but most of the time I do love what I do and I wouldn't change it for anything. I just was in such a rut and don't know why but it really sucked and I haven't felt like that since. THANK HEAVENS!!! I think I just had to really evaluate myself and see if this is really what I wanted and needed to do. Once I knew the answer to that question it's been good and I have joy in what I do and realize it is what I WANT and NEED to do!! It's not for everyone but it's for me. Blogging kind of saved ME I guess. The me I couldn't find in the middle of my mom world. It helped me feel like I could do something for me and that was ok. I started out thinking it was a great way to keep family and friends updated on our lives since they don't all live close and don't get to see the kids. It turned into a hobby, passion, ADDICTION!!! I LOVE writing and have always dreamed of writing in some capacity and this is just kind of a fun outlet for that. It also is kind of a journal and that has been super great to go back and read old posts and feel so happy that I actually have a record of our life. It was also a connection to the outside world for me. I totally NEEDED that!!! And still do! Facebook has added to the fun of that of course but blogging is where it started for me. It also at times is kind of like a scrapbook for me without the huge mess for my kids to attack.
It turns out that very few family members are interested enough to ever read my blog and that's ok. It stopped being for that a long time ago. It's my silly, quirky little outlet and I know that many people just don't "get" it and that's ok too. For those of you who DO "get" it and read my blog...THANK YOU!!! I love knowing others like my blog! It makes me happy! I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE getting comments from people. I was so sad when my blog was broken and I couldn't get comments.
I'm trying to be brave enough to actually write a fictional story. This particular story has been floating around in my thoughts for about a year now. I'll let you know if I do it. OOOO Scary and exciting all at once!

Let me just start out by saying &%^$ >?@!~&^%(*&!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, now that that's out of my system I can go on.  Whew I needed that!!!!


Have you ever known anyone that never misses an opportunity for "I told you so"s and tries to always tear down everyone they ever come in contact with and brings everyone down that they interact with by digging at them and making them feel worse than they did when they ran into you? I know someone like that and I really hope and pray that I can be the complete opposite of that! That when I run into someone I can uplift them and make them feel better for having talked with me and spread a little sunshine around. I know that I'm not like that all the time and that life is hard and sometimes I ooze negativity too but I really don't mean to or want to and I hope I can be better. I know being torn down and brought down and stomped on by someone has a tendency to rub off on those around them and I really hope to rise above it and to be positive and good.
~I LOVE Christmas time! I love the snow, the music, the food, the smells, the lights, the ornaments, the trees, the wreathes, basically everything about it and I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE being able to see it all through my little children's eyes! Makes it even more enjoyable!
~We went to my family Christmas party last Friday night. It was tons of fun! The kids made gingerbread houses out of graham crackers and the adults made real gingerbread houses. I was so going to try making my own this year but chickened out and bought one at the last minute for $10. Zack finished his and was moving it from the table and dropped it and all the candy fell off of it and it broke. Poor kid! We decided to let him decorate the one we had bought. He had fun and that's all that matters! This year the kids bought gifts for each other and the adults decided that instead of exchanging gifts this year we would play a white elephant game of sorts. It was actually bingo. Each adult purchased a $5-$10 gift to wrap and bring to the party. The gifts were placed in the middle of the table and each time someone got a bingo they were able to either pick a gift from the middle or trade with someone else if they wanted their gift. Once your bingo card was completetly full you could either open the gift in your hand or steal someone else's to open. It was so much fun!!! Brian ended up with an air soft bb gun and I had a nice bottle of bath and body works lotion and a Christmas towel with a snowman on it. So cute! It was a really fun night!!!
~I finally made pumpkin bars. Now moving on to all of my favorite fattening Christmas goodies! HOORAY!!!
~All of our kids and Brian have had a cold. Matthew hadn't had it yet but started to cough a little here and there on Sunday and I thought for sure he was starting the cold too. That night he was eating some chicken noodle soup for dinner and started having problems breathing. I thought he was having an asthma attack and had Brian give him a puff of albuterol from the inhaler. Well, he just got worse. Brian gave him benedryl. He still didn't improve. I was wondering if it was asthma or if he had accidentally been exposed to nuts or something. He said he didn't breathe the inhaler very well so I decided to give him the liquid albuterol he had left after the swine flu. He got so bad he was not able to catch his breath. I thought I should call 911 but we live really close to the hospital and decided it would be faster to drive him. I was afraid by the time we got to the hospital he wouldn't be breathing at all he was so bad! I expected him to pass out any time. As all of this was running through my mind Brian suggested we use the epipen. Now any of you who know Brian know he doesn't get upset or excited about ANYTHING! If HE is suggesting this it's BAD!!! So I held him down and Brian gave him the shot. Matthew really was very brave through the whole thing I might add! He started breathing better and we took him to the hospital. Once we were there he started doing the barky cough of croup. Matthew had chronic croup from the age of one to about 3 or 4 but hasn't had it for a couple of years. Max has had it a few times and so did Zack when he was a baby. I KNOW what croup sounds like and trust me the kid was not showing signs of croup until we were at the hospital. With croup if you have them in the cold air or if they are drinking ice water or something the restriction in their air way improves and they can breathe better. We wonder if the warm soup made his air way constrict and that's was the problem. We don't know! We do know however that albuterol makes croup worse so the double dose of albuterol didn't help him out at all. Thank heavens we have an epi pen!! Anyway, that was too much excitement for me and I hope I never have to watch him struggle that hard to breathe ever again. SCARY!!! That's the second time in his life he's been that bad and I hope it doesn't happen again!
~Our computer is broken again and I have to share again that is why I don't post very often. Brian is hoping to fix it tonight. Cross your fingers for me please!!! 
~I totally love the setting on blogs that makes it so you are notified of comments made on your blog by email!!! It's the best! BTW: My spell check option is gone on my blog so please don't critique too much. I have been typing with a very chatty 3 year old talking to me and a very squirmy 6 month old on my lap.
~I hope you all are enjoying this fun Christmas time!!! Happy celebrating!!!

Randomness is back in business!!! HOORAY!!!

I'm so excited I just can't stand it! My blog actually updates and keeps comments for the first time in a few weeks!! LOVE IT!!

A little randomness is in order!!! Ok...First thing. Brian thinks it's best to have one really super great gift for Christmas. One big, expensive present to open. I am totally the opposite. I want QUANTITY!!! I have a million little things I would love to have but never spend money on and I want a whole bunch of those things to open up on Christmas morning. He gives me 1 or 2 gifts to open and I usually give him a whole bunch of things to open. I think that while we are both thankful for our gifts we are honestly a little disappointed on Christmas morning. There have been years we haven't had anything under the tree for each other or we would spend $10-$20 each. I would totally think I was cool with it until Christmas morning came around and I'll admit, it was pretty disappointing to not have a single thing under the tree with my name on it. I know that's probably kind of selfish but I can't help it. I would have been totally cool with 10 things from the dollar store wrapped and placed under the tree but Brian would have thought that was at least as bad if not worse than having nothing under the tree. I have always thought it was the difference between our sexes. Boys want big, expensive gifts PERIOD!!! Is there anything under like $200 thats really going to thrill them? I'm thinking not!! Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm the only one that thinks it would be fun to have a whole bunch of inexpensive things under the tree instead of 1 gift. My idea of the perfect Christmas morning would be to have maybe a new bottle of pretty fingernail polish, a little fun scrapbooking packet (even though I never actually scrapbook anymore they are only 5 bucks at WalMart and so fun and cute!!!), a new shirt, a movie or cd I like, a book to read, maybe a necklace or some other piece of costume jewelry (has to be costume!!! I lose everything! AND I don't think I'd feel too comfortable having Gracie suck on a really expensive piece of jewelry but if she wants to slobber all over a $5-$10 piece I'm cool with that), a bottle of Pear Berry or Country Apple lotion from Bath and Body, a fun pair of slippers or slipper socks, a fun kitchen gadget, a new Willow statue to add to my very small collection, I could think of a zillion things like that that would be so super fun to have. So now I'm curious! What do you think? Is it better to have a bunch of gifts to open or 1 super fun, expensive gift? Please comment and even if I don't know you comment anyway!!! I'd love to hear what you all think! 

My boys are obsessed lately with trying to find their six pack stomachs in the mirror! So cute!!!

Gracie is army crawling, sitting up, and ate her first veggies last night. I was going to start with green beans but I felt that would be cruel (I think green beans are vile anyway but some how they found a way to make baby food green beans even worse) so I gave her peas instead. She gagged a few times but ate half a jar so that was a good start. Brian hates peas so he says he doesn't blame her for gagging. We always have both on the table and we did a great job of hiding our dislike of them from Zack until he was 5 years old. Pretty good!

I can't wait to start eating all of the Christmas goodies this year! I still haven't had pumpkin bars yet though, which is an absolute must for me at Thanksgiving so I have to make those first before I can start making Christmas treats.

We strung popcorn for the tree again this year. We did this 6 years ago. It took me a minute to remember why it took me 6 years to want to do it again. It looks so pretty but holy tediousness!!! And THEN I noticed yesterday that my strands were looking sparce in certain areas and found out Zack had been eating the popcorn off of the tree. I let him know we don't do that and that we have plenty of other popcorn to eat and it's actually salted and buttered. It took me hours to string that stuff! Seriously!!!

My mom, my 3 sisters, my sister-in-law, Heidi, my 2 neices, my nephew's girlfriend, and I went to New Moon together Friday morning. It was fun to go with them! I think we should have a girl's night out more often! I would drive the hour for that!! I liked New Moon so much more than I liked Twilight! JACOB!!! HELLLLOOOO!!! Oh to be 17 again and injured near Jacob so he could give me his shirt to soak up the blood. hhhmmmm  Good times!!! I know I'm like really old but he still looked HOT!!! My cousin thinks that makes me a pedafile. I just think it makes me a person with eyes that work!!!

I finally bought a new skirt! HOORAY FOR ME!!! It's been years!!! I told Brian when I was pregnant with Gracie that I was getting a new skirt to wear at the baby blessing because I am sick of wearing the same thing week after week, year after year!!! Well, he lost his job so that didn't happen. I was at the mall and decided just to look in Downeast Outfitters for a sec.  They had the cutest black and white skirt with a little red line in it. My FAVORITE color combination!!! I couldn't resist!!! It was so nice to actually have something cute to wear to church for a change!!!

Our Thanksgiving was really nice! The food was absolutely delicious! My mom is such a fantastic cook and my sisters and sister in law all pitched in wonderful stuff too! I, however, don't have my own kitchen right now and found it difficult to squeeze into my mom's or Brian's mom's the day before Thanksgiving so I took a store bought cheese ball and crackers and some soda pop. Gracie woke up for a bottle at 5:20 a.m., Matthew was having an asthma attack and needed a puff off of the inhaler and some Benedryl, and Max vomited a few minutes later all over my sister's bathroom floor but after that was all cleaned up it was a fun day. He had had greasy, spicy pizza the night before so at least it wasn't a virus that spread through everyone or anything. My friend Melissa was in Utah for Thanksgiving. It was her daughter's year to spend Thanksgiving with her dad so she brought her to him. My mom let me bring Melissa to spend Thanksgiving with our family. It was so fun to see her and to catch up on each other's lives a little bit. She looks fantastic and is so happy! I hope all of you had a wonderful holiday, too!

Flashback Blog Post From Last Year

Oy Vey!!!!


So 2 Christmas' ago I thought it would be SOOO much fun to send a picture of the boys out with our Christmas cards. Trying to get all of the boys smiling and looking in the same direction at the same time turned out to be the impossible dream. Brian was a ward clerk and was at tithing settlement that night so I was on my own and poor Zack had a broken arm (notice the red cast)and had to hold Max who was known to fling all of his body weight in any direction at any given moment. Matthew kept jumping and putting his arm up in the air every time I said to say cheese and would totally mess up the positon I had them in. There were tears. Some were mine some were theirs. When I was looking for a fun Christmas picture to put on my blog I ran across the sequence of pictures I took. I died laughing. NOW I can laugh! I just had to share! I'm hoping it gives you as much of a laugh as it gave me. We did get a few cute ones. It was a Christmas MIRACLE! I haven't done it since. I just don't have the energy.

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