Lots of Gratitude

Well, it's been a while since I posted about what I'm thankful for.  The #1 thing I'm thankful for is that Brian doesn't have cancer!!!

That was so scary having to wait for 2 weeks to hear the results since they had to send the biopsy to California.

I'm also very grateful to be able to spend time with my Mom.  We haven't always lived where we were able to spend so much time together so it's nice to be able to now.

Another thing I'm thankful for is music.  I like how hearing a song can affect you so much.  It's my favorite part of church (besides partaking of the sacrament) (and when they choose to sing songs that I've actually ever heard of :)!).  It's one of my favorite parts of celebrating Christmas.  Songs make me laugh. They make me cry. They make me feel and learn and grow.  I always tell Brian that at my funeral I want everyone to sing A Poor Wayfaring Man Of Grief...ALL 7 verses! It's one of my favorites. I like to read it during the passing of the Sacrament.  I like to sing I Love To See The Temple when we see the temple.  I like to sing My Heavenly Father Loves Me as we drive around town looking at all of he beautiful Lilac trees, Apricot trees, and every other tree that has pretty little blossoms on it.  I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE music!!!

I am SOOO incredibly thankful to be the mother of 4 beautiful children.  They are so AWESOME!!  They are smart, funny, fun to be around.  They remind me every day of what really matters in this world! Blessed doesn't even begin to express my feelings about them but I'll use it.  I am incredibly BLESSED!!! They are also a constant reminder to me that what I WANT isn't always what I really NEED and that Heavenly Father is the Captain of this ship so I need to just trust in Him and His plan for me!!!

Money, Money, Money, MOONNNEEEYYY, MONEY!

Today, I am thankful for money.  Now, I know that that sounds like I am the most "worldly" person on earth, but please read on and hear me out.  :)  I sure don't have much of it, but I am so incredibly thankful that we have enough for our needs.  It's so wonderful to not have to worry about how we're going to pay our bills and feed and clothe our children.  And we will be able to provide Christmas for our children.  We are able to buy the things that they need. 

I certainly don't think that money is the MOST important thing in the world and I don't think that it totally sucks that I'm not a millionaire.  (well, that would be really nice!)  But, one of the biggest lessons that I have taken from our financial struggles is that it doesn't matter whether you live in a dive or a mansion, whether you have a gazillion dollars or you live paycheck to paycheck, your happiness doesn't come from money.  Although, I do realize that having enough money to take care of every need and whimsy your heart desires can make you feel happy and blessed and it can stress the crap out of you if you don't have enough.  But, ultimately happiness, I mean pure JOY, comes from the peace and comfort that comes from our Father In Heaven, our Savior Jesus Christ, and the gift of The Holy Ghost.  As long as we know that they are on our side and that we are on their side, we can handle any challenge that is placed before us.  It might take us a minute to get our bearings, we might have a come apart, total breakdown, freak out fit, and lay on the bed in the fetal position and bawl our eyes out.  But when the tears dry up and the dust clears, we realize that as long as THEY are going to help us through it, we can handle it.  It will all be OK. 

My heart breaks when I hear of people losing their jobs and for those who have had to look for a job for a while without success.  It's a difficult challenge, that's for sure!  I know it can always be worse, but that still doesn't keep it from being difficult for us as we learn to accept His will in all things.  And, I just feel terrible for people in New York and New Jersey, and anywhere else that has people who have been displaced for whatever reason.  I can only imagine what they are going through.

I am grateful for what we have and will be for how ever long we are able to have it, and we'll try to find ways we can help others with it as much as we possibly can.  :)

Stop & Smell the Roses Once In A While, Already :)

Today, I am thankful for the beauties of the earth.  Hasn't Heavenly Father blessed us with the most amazing planet to enjoy.  I've always LOVED late fall/winter time until I had kids and then it was really hard to not be able to let 3 little, wild, and crazy boys outside to play.  Now they are ALL old enough to play outside in the snow and be just fine.  We just bundle them up like the little boy on A Christmas Story and they're good to go.  The best part, I get to still love late fall/winter!  I think I like it so much because this time of year just seems so magical, what with Thanksgiving and celebrating Christmas from the day after Thanksgiving all through til January 1st.  I love Christmas trees and decorations.  Going for rides to look at Christmas lights.  Hot cocoa.  Warm, snugly sweaters, and blankets.  Cute boots.  Nativity sets.  Christmas programs.  The Nutcracker.  Christmas dresses for my daughter and nice sweaters or sweater vests for my sons.  The music.  Who doesn't love Christmas music?!  The feeling of looking out the window and seeing a blanket of snow on everything.  There is something so peaceful about that. (As long as you don't have to drive in it.)  Icicles.  Making snowmen and snow angels.  Snow covered trees.  Seeing the lights on Temple Square.  Christmas movies.  And just think about a lot of the best movies ever, that are set at Christmas time because...hello, it's magical and so romantic.  For example...Serendipity, While You Were Sleeping, The Holiday... I could go on and on. 

Springtime is so incredibly beautiful!  I absolutely love seeing all of the pretty tulips, daffodils, and lilac trees in bloom.  The grass begins to turn green.  The trees begin to grow leaves again.  The world begins to have color and life again.  Isn't it fun to see all of the cute little lambs, colts, and calfs.  The air starts to warm up again a little bit so that we can pull out our light jackets, capri's and flip flops.

Summertime is so much fun!  I never was very thrilled about it before I had those 3 little boys I talked about earlier.  It is wonderful to be able to just let them be free and play outside without coats, boots, gloves.  I loved seeing my babies chubby little legs and arms when they started wearing shorts and short sleeves.  It's such a beautiful time of year, too.  We love to see waterfalls, rivers running, The Garden's at Thanksgiving Point.  Everything is colorful and lovely. 

And living in Utah is really fun when Fall comes along.  I had never seen such spectacularly colored leaves of trees as when we moved to Utah from Kansas.  I still remember how awe inspiring it was the first time we drove through Price/Spanish Fork Canyon in the Fall.  The mountains in Utah are just beautiful no matter what time of year it is, but I especially love it when they are full of beautiful fall leaves.  I just can't get enough of it!  And, seeing Temple Square this time of year is my new favorite!

There are so many gorgeous places in our state, our country, and all over the world that I would just LOVE to see some day.  This earth was not made by accident.  There was so much thought and science to it.  Heavenly Father and Jesus are so amazing!  The beauty of it is such an amazing gift to all of us!  Sometimes I think we just get so wrapped up and caught up in the stress and duties of daily life that we forget to look around us and savour the beautiful world we live in.

I wouldn't have been very good "back in the olden days"

I am thankful that I'm alive in this day and age.  I just don't think I'd have been very good at living "back in the olden days". 

My reasons:

• Make-up. Yeah, I scare small children without my make-up. Not that it makes THAT much of a difference but I feel less scary with it on anyway.
• I hate laundry now.  I can only imagine how much "fun" it was to hand wash everything. I know that they had very few clothes to actually wash but still.  They typically had HUGE families, and there was no running water.  No hot water heaters.  No dryers.  No matter what the time of year, the weather, or the temperature, you still had to do it.  
• I would have driven people crazy by my incessant boredom. I swear I have ADHD & OCD.  I'm sure it would be a major problem for me.  Being alive now is just perfect for me.  There are so very many enjoyable ways to spend your time these days. T.V., movies, my phone, the computer, Pinterest! I can't always have time for these things but it's so comforting to know that they're there for me if I need them. :)   Oh, and cameras!  Isn't it great to be able to capture precious moments in our lives like new babies, and weddings, first smiles and first steps.  I could go on and on about that!
• Running water and toilets.
• As much as I love riding horses and I wish I could ride horses more often, I don't think I would want to have to rely on horses as my only form of transportation, whether it be riding one or having my wagon or buggy pulled by one.  I think I'd much rather have the comfort, warmth, convenience, and shelter of my mini van.
• Sleeping on hay mattresses doesn't sound like a whole lot of fun either. 
• There was no Target.  No Costco.  No Walmart.  No Ikea.  No Maurice's.  No outlet stores. 
• Modern medicine.  Especially the actual medicine.  I hate that my Trigeminal Neuralgia's nickname is "The Suicide Drug". It's nice that I can be helped by taking medication for it. Just a few years ago my medications hadn't been developed yet and no one knew they worked for this anyway since they actually were developed to be used for other ailments.                                          And I would NOT have been into having a  baby without the convenience of an epidural.  And those little monitors they put on you that help track the baby's heartbeat. We would have lost Matthew if not for that!  And thank goodness for c-sections! I shutter to think about what might have happened to a lot of my nieces and nephews and their mommies if that hadn't been an option or if it hadn't been done fast enough thanks to detecting the problem in time.  (Not to mention having to be the person who had to clean that mess up in your house after having a baby in your home, without mattress protectors or a washing machine to throw the mess into.  If it happened in my home now I'd just throw it all away and get new ones but I'd imagine you couldn't very well do that back then.)  And Penicillin!  That alone has been such a blessing in people's lives. We are blessed to know that we and our children can be well taken care of if the need arises.  And vaccinations.  I once read in a parenting machine, that we are merely a plane ride away from acquiring any number of hideous disease from people from other countries where they don't vaccinate but who are carries of the disease.  Kind of a scary thought if you ask me. .
• And finally...food!  I love food!  There we no fast food restaurants. No Olive Garden or Cafe Rio.  No happy hour at Sonic.  No Pinterest to find fabulous recipes on.  No Food Network.  No Sweet Tooth Fairy.  It's definitely much more fun to eat these days than it was back then!

Health Insurance

Today, I am thankful for health insurance.  There have been so many times over the years that we haven't had health insurance.  Brian's job doesn't pay quite what we need it to so I just HAVE to figure out a way to bring some money in for us, but I have to say that the benefits he has at his job are really wonderful so we can't complain. Especially since he and I have health issues all of the time.
Now, Brian has some nodules on his thyroid that he had biopsied last Thursday. He has had problems with his thyroid for years and has been on medication for it for quite some time now. He also has had low testosterone. The combination makes for one very exhausted man all of the time. He has no energy and just feels worn out always. So, he was on thyroid and testosterone medication a few years back but the testosterone medication is SOOO expensive. It costs $700.00 a month for the dose he is on now. In the past our insurance covered about half of the cost and his dose was a lot lower so it cost us $150.00.  Once he didn't have that insurance anymore it was costing $300.00 out of pocket. We couldn't afford it. There was just no way. So, now his levels are really low and it costs $700.00 a month but our insurance covers all but $75.00 of it and then his Dr. gave him a card that is from the manufacturer of the Androgel and it covered $50.00 so he only had to pay $25.00. His thyroid medication is only like $4.00, thankfully!  So, it's wonderful that he can have his medication and that he can have the appointments with the specialists who actually know what to watch out for and how to treat his particular problems. He had always gone to family practitioners in the past.
 Now we are waiting, not so patiently, for the results of his biopsy. We won't know until November 15th. It's just brutal waiting for results isn't it?!
My medication costs $200.00 a month so it was really stressful when we didn't have insurance for those months while Brian was out of work. Without my medication I am in such excruciating pain that it is so hard to function. We only paid $200 for it once. The rest of the time my wonderful Dr. and friend gave me samples from her office to get me by until he started working again. Also, Pfizer, who manufactures it has a program that I applied for which is based on your income from the previous year, which he worked most of and got severance pay for so even with getting an entire year's salary, we qualified to have my medication paid for in full. What a blessing that has been!!!  After Brian got his job I called and asked if I needed to reapply based on his current pay and they said no, not until it's been a whole year since my last application. It is such a blessing to be able to take my medication without worrying about eating less food or something so we could still live.
Insurance is such a blessing and something that I am grateful for every single day of my life!

Easter clothes, girl's day out, and cute stuff my kids did...

I've been thinking lately about how much I hate to move. Today, though, I have been thinking of all of the different people I have met over the years, in all of the different places we have lived. We have truly been blessed. We have lived in some of the best wards in the whole wide world. Some weren't so great but they have just helped us to realize how wonderful it is to live in great wards. I am so grateful for Facebook and blogs! My wonderful friends are just amazing and I still can have them in my life, even though we've moved away. I have also been so blessed to be able to see Heavenly Father's wisdom in sending my children to me when he did, instead of when I WANTED him too!!! They are wonderful kids and I'm so blessed to be their mother! I know, without a doubt, that if I didn't have my children to care for each day, I would have just stayed in bed when I was in so much pain, instead of getting up and doing what needed to be done.

~I couldn't wait all the way until Easter for my kids to wear their new church clothes! They all look so nice! I don't know why Max's tie is so small, but whatev'. It's really hard to take pictures of 4 kids at the same time! I am so proud of Gracie's dress! I don't think the pictures does it justice. It.is.beautiful! Every bit as lovely and well made as any I have ever had for her from The Children's Place. And can you believe it...I got it from KMART! AND, they had so many pretty dresses to choose from that it was kind of tough to choose which one to get! I got the cute little knit shrug at The Children's Place. It was so much fun buying her pretty little Easter outfit. Gracie and I went to Spanish Fork on Friday night for Steph's daughter's 2nd bday party. The boys all had other things going on. Saturday, we just had a wonderful time. Just the 2 of us. We went to lunch with my parents and then she and I went to the mall and had so much fun buying her little earrings, shrug, and pretty pink bracelet. We needed some girl time! I just love her! Max broke her little bracelet right after church today. I was NOT happy! When I was in the kitchen I heard Gracie say to him, "It's ok buddy! (She got the buddy part from Steph's son, Josh. He's SO cute!) It was an accident. Just say, I sorry, DeeDee." She calls herself DeeDee still sometimes cause that's how she pronounced Gracie for the longest time. When Max said he was sorry, she said, "It's ok buddy." She is THE sweetest little girl! Yes, I'm biased, but she melts my heart.

~Max cracked me up on Friday. I noticed his shirt was on backwards and I told him he needed to spin his shirt around. He said, "I'm wearing it like this because the other side is dirty." I guess he figures that if HE can't see it, NO ONE can. LOL!!! I just love each of my kids so much! I don't know what I would do without them!

Isn't life a crazy ride!

On Sunday night we had our Young Women's New Beginnings at church. Each of the leaders read a part of the book (which is actually taken from a talk) called Your Happily Ever After by Dieter F. Uchtdorf. It's really a wonderful book. My favorite part of the talk is,"Once upon a time. Aren't those wonderful words to begin a story of adventure and romance, a story of princesses and princes. It may include tales of courage, hope, and everlasting love. In many of these stories, nice overcomes mean and good overcomes evil. But perhaps most of all, I love it when we turn to the last page and our eyes reach the final lines and we see the enchanting words "And they lived happily ever after.""
"Isn't that what we all desire: to be the heroes and heroines of our own stories to triumph over adversity; to experience life in all its beauty; and, in the end, to live happily ever after?"
Sisters, those words are true! They are not made up in a fairy tale! Isn't it remarkable to know that our eternal Heavenly Father knows you, hears you, watches over you, and loves you with an infinite love? In fact, His love for you is so great that He has granted you this earthly life as a precious gift of "once upon a time," complete with your own true story of adventure, trial, and opportunities for greatness, nobility, courage, and love. And, most glorious of all, He offers you a gift beyond price and comprehension. Heavenly Father offers to you the greatest gift of all-eternal life-and the opportunity and infinite blessing of your own "happily ever after."
It goes on to talk about how each of us has a journey in between our "once upon a time" and our "happily ever after". And he talked about how our journey, like the princes and princesses in the fairy tales, will have adversity, challenges, sadness and, at times, despair. But we know that if we can endure them well, over come those difficult times, by doing all we need to do to stay close to our Heavenly Father and our Savior, Jesus Christ, and ask for their help and the companionship of The Holy Ghost and if we do all we know they would have us do, then we can achieve our "happily ever after" which is essentially, eternal life, returning to Heaven to live with Heavenly Father, Jesus, and our loving families. He also said,\

 "It is your reaction to adversity, not the adversity itself, that determines how your life's story will develop."

Later that night, after I had come home and changed into my nice comfy sweats and cuddled up to my Facebook phone ap, I read about things like...my cousin, John, who lives in Paris, France, was celebrating his 40th birthday. My friend, Emily, had celebrated her 35th birthday by going on a week long cruise with her husband. My friend, Cindy, welcomed her sweet baby boy, Tanner, into the world. Then my mom texted me and told me that my sister, Stephanie's, friend, Dr. Greg Nielsen, had passed away. When he opened his pediatric practice, Steph was his first nurse. She loved him and his wife and children. When she was blessed with her first child, she left her job so that she could raise her son. Of course, Dr. Nielsen became her trusted pediatrician. I remember how much I loved my doctor and his nurse when I had my Zacky and how sad I was when his nurse passed away. There is a bond between you and your children's Dr. and nurses when you have those precious little babies to care for! I understand that Dr. Nielsen had a staff infection which caused sepsis. His fever got so high that he had a stroke and later passed away. This is such a sad thing! I just feel so bad for his wife and children. What a loved man! What a great loss!!!
I had been so spiritually fed at church and, later, at New Beginnings. I felt joy for the people I know who had reason to celebrate. I felt sadness, and cried for Steph and all of the people who knew and loved Dr. Nielsen. It all felt kind of surreal. I was thinking about how life is going on all around us. All around the world. How many people all over the world happily celebrated birthdays that day? How many people all over the world were born that day? How many people all over the world died that day? How many people all over the world experienced the devastating loss of a loved one that day? The circle of life. Life is so incredibly sad and difficult at times and so beautiful and lovely at other times. Sometimes both extremes are experience at the same time. I am so very grateful to my Heavenly Father and to His Son, Jesus Christ, and to The Holy Ghost!!! They are always there for me to help me through whatever pain or suffering I experience. I know they are there for all the people who are mourning the loss of loved ones and any other sad, horrible, tragic thing they might be experiencing. They are also there to rejoice with us when great things happen. I am so grateful for the knowledge and testimony I have of them. I am so grateful for missionaries of all faiths who preach and teach of the love and support God and Jesus give us in our lives. Everyone should know that they have wonderful Father in Heaven who loves them. Everyone should know what their Savior, Jesus Christ, did for them and for all of us. Everyone should know that The Holy Ghost is there for us to comfort us, to guide us, and to help us through this earthly life. Everyone should know that there is a plan and a reason for us to be here in the first place, to have an understanding of their very existence! I cannot fathom how difficult life must be when you don't know these things! How lonely and lost they must feel. I feel so blessed! You know, for a while there I was feeling really down. My health problems are frustrating (I am grateful my pain is helped so much by medication, I just wish sometimes that I didn't have to worry about it in the first place. That I wouldn't have to take stupid medication. That I could be out in the cold without having pain. I could go on and on but I wont (o: ). Brian is out of work and has been since November. That brings so much anxiety, frustration, and difficulty to our lives as well as to our marriage. My house and yard are total disaster areas because we are too big for it and for a while there, I was gone a lot, working. The pay checks have been wonderful but our family has definitely been affected by my absence, and so has the house! I was just really not a happy camper. Until, I started thinking about one of my all time favorite pictures of Jesus that hung in our little chapel in Dodge City, KS when I was a little girl. You know, the one where he's standing at the door, knocking, and the door has no knob. He's waiting for us to let him in our lives. I feel really humbled! Our problems are NOTHING compared to so many other people's problems. We have been blessed in so many ways it's unbelievable. We need to be more grateful!!! We need to be more diligent in doing the things we know we need to do to bring Him in our lives more, which ultimately leads us to the greatest joy we can possibly feel as human beings!!!

I can't find the one that hung in our chapel but this is lovely too!

Today I am thankful for Brian, Zackary, Matthew, Max, and Gracie, my family and wonderful friends, my doctor, medicine that makes my trigeminal neuralgia mostly under control, my church, the gospel of Jesus Christ, our prophet, President Monson, Joseph Smith, missionaries, the young women in our ward, answers to prayers, my little no stress job that helps us make ends meet better and that doesn't interfere with my little family (most of the time. It wouldn't ever but since Brian's home I've been leaving when he can watch the kids and poor Gracie has had it with that, so I'll have to start going at night again, which is totally fine), a house to live in, food to eat, cars to drive, clothes to wear, freedom, living in a free country is a beautiful thing, our military and their families who sacrifice so much and do so much for us so we can all be safe. Our old bishop is losing his fight with cancer. He is a very wonderful man and we all just love him and his wife so much! We are heart broken for them and their family. They have wonderful attitudes! They are wonderful examples to us of faith and strength!

I am so thankful for Thanksgiving so we can all take time to think of all of the blessings we have. Sure, life isn't perfect and we have our share of problems and challenges and stresses and worries but we are so blessed in so many ways! What a wonderful, positive holiday this is! I just love it that most of the people in our country are united in gratitude on this day special day. It's just neat!

Gratitude post...

So, with tomorrow being Thanksgiving and all, I thought I'd list some things I'm thankful for. In no particular order of course...

~My family...Brian G., Zacky T., Matty, Maxers, and Gracie Sue!!! They are the best!!!
~My family. I keep thinking about my childhood and all the fun memories I have! Thanksgiving was so awesome when my Uncle Don's family, Grandma Hazel, the missionaries, and people in our branch who didn't have anywhere to go, would come over and we had so much fun!
~The gospel of Jesus Christ and His redeeming sacrifice for us and His great love for us!!!
~My Heavenly Father and His love for me and all He does for me and for my love for Him!!!
~My calling
~Having our own place to live and just...be
~How cute it is when Gracie runs...cutest thing ever!!!
~My friends
~Sewing (I never thought I would say that one!!!)
~Making projects
~Modge Podge :) 
~Paper plates and plastic cups
~Chocolate popcorn
~A working forced air furnace
~Snow!!!! :)
~Warm clothes
~Pumpkin pie, pumpkin bread, pumpkin bars, pumpkin cookies, pumpkin pancakes...basically all things pumpkin. Oh, and decorating with them too!
~Washing machines and dryers
~Blue skies in the dead of winter
~That Ibuprofen helps take the edge off of my TN when NOTHING helps most people!! HUMONGOUS blessing!!!
~Being diagnosed with SOMETHING. Not the actual diagnosis..that sucks big time..but I have gone to so many doctors and no one could tell me what was wrong. It was horrible not knowing for so long why I feel the way I do. Someone that was supposedly close to us even told people that he thought I was bipolar because of the extreme changes in me from one day to the next sometimes from one hour to the next. You try feeling excruciating pain in your head and different parts of your face ALWAYS but with varying levels of pain and then some days you don't feel SO bad so you actually CAN function a bit better and then the next day you're back to feeling like crap. Or sometimes you feel super for hours in a day and then suddenly you have so much pain you can't stand it or you wake up in pain at 4a.m. and don't get enough sleep on top of the pain you have and then see how super bright and smiley you are and how consistent your moods and functioning levels are. You never know what can trigger it to intensify it just happens (it turns out stress can make it worse and I was beyond EXTREMELY stressed in the living situation I was in at the time. AND you have 4 precious kids to care for AND I had a person in my life who was trying to make it as difficult as humanly possible. Not a good combination!
~I am so thankful for Brian I know I already said that but he has been amazing through this whole thing. He loves me and I love him. Our relationship has grown in many ways over these past about 2 years or so and he has helped me so much and has been so loving and understanding and I just don't know what I would have done without him!!!! We are not perfect. Our life is not perfect. Our relationship is not perfect. But we have learned a very important lesson this year. We might not have a lot of worldly possessions and life isn't easy but as long as we have each other and our sweet little kids we are ok. So sorry he has been through so much this year but I am so grateful for his unconditional love and I want the best for him!!! He is an amazing man and I just wish EVERYONE knew that!!!
~Prayer
~The Priesthood
~Blogging
~Music
~The scriptures
~My notebook/laptop thing Brian gave me for my birthday in January
~Nursery
~Vacuum cleaners
~Reading
~Journaling
~The healing power of gratitude! Life is so much easier, happier, and more enjoyable when we look for the good things in it rather than the bad things.
~Modern Medicine
~Healthy, happy kids!!!

Attitude and gratitude

My last post was all in jest but since I have been trying to count my blessings more I had a hard time keeping myself from talking about how much I love living here at the end of that post because I wanted to keep it light and silly. Do I wish I had a dishwasher...UMM, YEAH!!!  Do I miss having a garbage disposal...absolutely! Do I cringe every time I have to vacuum because I know that there will be less of the green carpet by the time I'm finished because no matter how careful I am a string of it ALWAYS gets sucked up in my vacuum and stuck on the roller thingy...DUH!  Could I go on and on about the little things that bug me about this house...FOR HOURS!!!

BUT I LoVe...

Having our own place to live.

             Our ward for about a gazillion reasons.

                          Our yard.

                                      That our kids are in the same school as they were last year.

That the bus picks them up at our house.

            The cute little bunnies that hop through our yard all the time.

                       That our kids see beauty in the things we find fault in. See previous post-orange carpet comment :)   

    That there were already holes in the walls and carpets and scribbles on the walls when we moved in so I am not SO worried that the kids will cause damage to the place.      

         That the atrocious green carpet makes me think of my Grandma Hazel every time I see it. She had ugly green carpet too. It was in perfect condition and very clean, unlike our green carpet but still, it makes me think of her so I still kind of like it.  

                     That sometimes when I walk into the back part of the house near the bathroom it smells like my Grandma Irvine's house did and makes me think of her. I LOVE that!!!

            That I am grateful every day to have a roof over our heads so that our family is protected from the elements and from harm. 

     That I have realized that it doesn't take a lot of fluff to make a person happy. You can be happy or miserable anywhere you live. It is all in your attitude. We are choosing to be happy and boy are we ever happy! We have our fair share of trials that's for sure but ultimately we are happy. We love each other. We love our greatest gifts..our children. As long as we are together we don't care where we are. I feel such a lovely peaceful spirit in this house. I KNOW we are supposed to be living here right now. I think that the reason that we couldn't find a place to live, even though we were desperately praying, driving up and down every street in several towns all the time, diligently, desperately searching for our own place to live, that Heavenly Father knew that we needed to live HERE. The people that lived here had bought this house as a fixer upper only about a year and a half before we rented it. The husband lost his job and they ended up having to move to Montana. They didn't have any money to fix it up and so it's in the same condition it was when they bought it. Heavenly Father has a plan. He is in charge. We appreciate all He gives us every day. We are truly  blessed people!!! We might not have as much as others. We have more than some. We have sufficient for our needs. We NEED the gospel, our family, food, shelter, clothing. We have those bases covered so IT'S ALL GOOD!!! It seems the
less we have the more we feel blessed. The more we appreciate what we DO have. The more we are able to have our priorities where they need to be. 

One last thought...think of all the crazy celebrities you see in the news. Fame and fortune do not make you happy! You can live in a mansion and be a MISERABLE person or you can live in the gutter and be the happiest person on earth! It is all in your attitude and your gratitude! It's a very conscious choice. "Men are that they might have joy". Our bishop reminded us of that Sunday in his talk in church. This man who is fighting for his life in a battle against the stage 4 cancer that is in his body stood at the pulpit and urged us all to find the joy in life. To look at our lives and if we are not happy, then we need to live the gospel more fully and find the joy in life and be HAPPY!!! What an amazing man! What an amazing message! One thing that has been on my mind for the past few months is that we need to see ourselves as Heavenly Father and Jesus see us. It's not always easy but blesses our lives so much when we make an effort to see our eternal potential. 

WE...ARE...BLESSED!!!! 

I'm in love...

with this time of year!!!

I never thought I would be one of "those" mom's. You know the ones that just couldn't wait to have her kids go back to school after the summer. I always thought I would be super sad when they went to school. I am always a bit nostalgic, especially when my kids go to kindergarten, of course, but this year I felt PURE JOY when they went to school and it just gets better every day.  The kids were so restless by the end of the summer. I had started a schedule with them because they really thrive on knowing what to expect and having stuff to do. They made lots of science projects, played outside lots, played in our little swimming pool, had very little t.v. time, read books, made crafts, I taught them to sew pillow cases, they drew lots of fun pictures. They loved it! They were very excited for school to start. Matthew is our sleeping-in child and he is usually a bear every morning when he's getting ready for school.  He cries and begs not to go to school many mornings.  So I was getting nervous about the first day of school with him.

Usually I take them to school the first day. Take a picture of them in their new classroom. Sometimes I take a picture of them with their new teacher. Zack's getting older and this ritual embarrasses him. Matthew and I met his new teacher the week before school started in his classroom. He was very nice. Matthew found where his backpack would hang. Took a little tour of the classroom. It was great. So when they wanted to ride the bus (which picks them up in front of our house  HOORAY!!!) instead of having me take them to school that first day I went with it. I felt sad I wouldn't be taking their picture at school and stuff but I figured it would be better for Matthew to not have me there.  They LoVeD their first day of school!!! It was only half a day for the first 2 days. Matthew started begging to stay home the 3rd day of school.  He's such a little home body. He loves being home!! But he loves school while he's there. He just doesn't like the going part I guess. Probably hates the waking up early part most. Max started preschool last Tuesday.  He is a bit timid about it this year because he only knows one of the kids in his class. She was on his t-ball team this summer. It's a pretty big class too.  Once he makes some more friends I'm sure he'll love it even more. I am really enjoying the 2 hours, 3 days a week thing. Who knew that 6 hours a week with only one very quiet child could be so rejuvenating.  I all but did a happy dance the other day in the kitchen when I was telling Brian how great it had been having the kids in school again. It's wonderful!!!  I thrive on having my own schedule back again. It helps me be a better mom to have a bit of a break once in a while. They love interacting with friends and learning new things and the whole school thing.   

And don't you just love everything about this time of year.  The weather is PERFECT!!! It's not too hot, not too cold.  It smells like fall. The food gets so super yummy and comforting.  I love it when I can start making soups, stews, and casseroles again.  And...apple pie!! So delicious!!!  No air conditioner. No heater.  I get to wear my light jackets or long sleeves.  I just thoroughly enjoy each of the seasons.  I love that we live somewhere that has all of the seasons.  There are places that don't really have much of a fall.  Who doesn't love the beautiful colors as the leaves change?!  I so enjoy the decorations and holidays of fall.  And the smell in the air and in the house.  It's just a wonderful time of year!!!  I feel so happy and so grateful for all of our blessings and to be living on such an amazing planet that our Savior created for us.  What marvelous gifts he gives to us.  How blessed we are to have fall.  To have seasons.  To have apples.  And pumpkins.  And the smell of cinnamon.  And such a gorgeous state to live in.  To have such great family.  To have the gospel in our lives.  To live in a free country.  To have shelter and transportation and food and clothing and shoes.  We are truly blessed!!!!!  I just LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this time of year!!!!

Super blessed...

So, we have been going through some pretty tough stuff the past few months. One of the problems on their own would be a challenge but going through both trials has been really hard. We have been constantly amazed at the love of our Savior!!! We are so grateful for the many blessings He showers us with. It is sometimes hard to recognize the blessings when there are difficult times but we have been reminded of our blessings over and over these past months and we are grateful. It seems like when we have reached the end of our rope He throws us another line and we feel so blessed again to see His hand in our lives. It's been hard not to murmur and complain and feel discouraged and totally not blessed but we have tried so hard to remain positive throughout the hard times. We have good days and bad. The bad days are especially bad and thank goodness we have loving, supportive family members and friends to help us get through the really low times and then we can pick ourselves back up, dust ourselves off, and face the next day with a smile on our faces and a determination to be happy, even in our trials. I am so grateful for a loving Heavenly Father. I am grateful to know that He knows me and loves me and hears and answers our prayers. Not usually in our time frame but always in the time frame that is best for us. I know He lives and loves each of us. I know that He wants us to be happy. I know that He wants us to talk to Him. To pour out our hearts to Him and ask for His help, love, guidance, peace, and comfort. I am so grateful for the gospel in my life and for my precious little family! I feel blessed each time I hear them laugh, see them smile, get loves and kisses from them. They are the greatest gifts and blessings in my life! I am happy to be Brian's wife and to be parents of such amazingly wonderful children!!! I also feel so very blessed to live in our country. So grateful to all of the people who have fought for our freedom and for the freedom of others. So happy to know that all of my blessings come from my Heavenly Father!!!!

It's WONDERFUL!!!!!!!!

Isn't it a perfect day to be alive!!! I marvel at this gorgeous earth that our Savior created for us! It is truly AMAZING!!! From the most breath taking "Wonder's of the World" to the tiniest ladybug. The true "wonders" like snow falling from the sky, green leaves on trees changing to the most magnificent colors in the fall providing the most amazing afternoon drives imaginable. The way 2 of the tiniest things ever, can come together and create a person. A very detailed and intricate person. Every blood vessel, cell, eye lash, fingernail, heart valve, fingerprint, bone, crease and crevice, is in the right place and doing the right thing, working together to make a life.  A PERSON!!! Now that is INCREDIBLE!!! We are so blessed to live in this time of unbelievable medical technology and breakthroughs! And with so many conveniences and luxuries at our fingertips. It is a gorgeous day and I am so grateful for it! Grateful for a loving Father in Heaven who loves me and helps me through this crazy life! Grateful to have sweet little angels to raise, to nurture, to teach, to read to, to encourage, to pat on the back, and kiss and love!! I have a sign in my house that says Life doesn't have to be perfect to be WONDERFUL!!!! SO TRUE!!!! Not always easy to remember but SO TRUE!!!!

IT'S ROUGH!!!

So when life gets really rough I have to count my blessings so that I don't let the negativity take over, so, here goes (in no particular order)....

I am thankful for:
blue skies
HOT summer days
seeing friends for the first time in 5 years
brown eyed baby girls
watching my kids run through the sprinklers
having a clean bathroom
the rubbermaid tote we found in our cellar that is FULL of novels
bbqs
Max's big blue eyes against his green tball hat
feeling the spirit
being married to my best friend
my wonderful brother in law, JJ. All I can say is I'm sorry you had to get hurt in this after you were being so generous and kind and thoughtful and good.  It breaks my heart!!!
ice cold Cherry Coke
Mississippi Mud Cake
AND...
last but not least
air conditioning!!!!