FUN TIMES & DEFINITE BRUISAGE & I may have gotten a little carried away with all the pictures....

So, my family rented a cabin together in the Heber Mountains. My brother Robby, my sisters Stephanie and Katie, and me and all of our families were there. We did miss Dana and her family (they live in Colorado and her husband is in the Special Forces in the Army in Afghanistan) and Nathan and his family who just moved to Florida in July!
This cabin was so awesome! It had 5 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms, a zip line, a game room, a movie room, a wrap around deck/porch, and a huge kitchen and eating area. It was beautiful & secluded.
Each morning we anxiously looked out the wall of windows in the living room in hopes of seeing some sort of creature. One morning Steph saw a mama bear and her cub. Two of the days we saw moose. Once there were two moose and once there was one big moose who walked right up to the fence that was made of a couple of cables, which lined the property. One day a fox walked up to the house while eating some little creature. We saw lots of deer.
Steph's husband J.J. brought up some 4-wheelers and a side by side. We had some very nice little rides and a couple of very exciting rides. On one of the exciting rides we were heading up a very steep, very rocky, trail. When we were to a point where there was about a 50-70 foot drop to the left of me, my 4-wheeler started struggling to make it up the hill since it was so steep. Well, it was a manual shift 4-wheeler and I was thinking, oh no I must be in 2nd gear instead of 1st gear so I shifted down. Turns out I WAS in 1st gear after all and shifted into neutral. Oh CRAP!!! So I shifted back up to 1st gear and floored it, which caused me to basically pop a wheelie. The thing stood straight up, threw me onto my elbow and my butt, while still straddling it, and started teetering over all the way. I saw it teetering and panicked! All I could think of was that when 4-wheelers land on top of people they often die! Brian and my Zacky were on the 4-wheeler directly behind me. I scrambled to get completely off of it, flipped over to my knees and crawled away as fast as I could. Thankfully, it didn't ever roll completely over. The rack stopped it. It scared the crap out of me, Brian, Zack and everyone with us. I feel very blessed that it just stopped! I have bruises and scrapes and I'm sore pretty much everywhere but it could have been so much worse!!!
On Tuesday afternoon, Brian and I, and all of my siblings (except Katie who was cooking dinner that night) and their spouses went on a kind of hairy, totally awesome, 2 hour ride! Katie's hubby, Chris rode with Robby's son Tyler. And oh my gosh, it was awesome! We rode to the top of a mountain with spectacular views. To the east we could see the Uintahs, Mount Timpanogas to the west, and gorgeous views to the north and south as well. It was really fun! It was nice to ride on the back of a 4-wheeler, snuggling Brian for 2 hours. We rarely have that kind of time away from our children. Our 18th anniversary was on Sunday so it was so nice to have such a great time together! It's funny though. You can tell how much older we all are now. Steph, Jenise, and I were so happy that there was a nice little outhouse in the middle of nowhere on the ride that had T.P. AND hand sanitizer! I kept saying to Brian that I am a mother of 4 and every time we went over a bump it felt like I was being punched in the bladder. I really wished I had been more diligent at doing my Kegel exercises. HAHA
The zip line was so much fun! The kids especially liked it! My Max and Steph's son Josh are little dare devils and just thought it was the coolest! My Dad even rode it once. My Mom and all of us adults were more than just a little bit worried about him riding it. Of course all of his grand kids thought he was a total rock star!!!
We had a blast! We all hated to see it end. Can you believe that there were 17 people there and we all got along perfectly! It was really great! We are supposed to do it again next year and we just can't wait!
Life is so expensive anymore that we don't ever spend enough time doing super fun things as a family so it was especially nice to just get away and have fun! I'm so glad that it wasn't a 'luxurious' cabin. It was nice, yet just rugged enough, and the PERFECT place to take kids! They knew they had to take care of the cabin but we didn't have to worry about them doing naughty stuff so much because they were constantly entertained by the zip line, the great outdoors, the game room, and the movie room. It was great! 

My sweet little Gracie climbing the stairs

 Gracie & Max getting ready for our ride.

 Zack, Gracie, Max, & Brian

 Matty rode with me on a 4-wheeler

 Look closely between the rear and front tire on the black car. The fox that came up to the house.

 Starting out on the ride where I crashed.

 I love how you can see the moon between the trees in this pic.

 This is the crazy path we took. It was NUTS!!!Especially since we had kids with us and the side by side that was too big to be on this path. It was pretty cool too just a bit scary! We were afraid a bear or something would jump out at us.   :)

 This is a nice pic of all of them

 This is when J.J. discovered there was a small branch from the bushes in Steph's hair...

 Brian on the 4-wheeler that I tried to roll. I was on with Zack after the incident. I should have gotten a picture of the crazy hill we climbed when that happened. It was Crazy!! 

 Rob and Tyler

 We were all so happy to have survived the ride that I just HAD to get a picture!

 The totally awesome moose...

 Grandpa getting ready to ride the zipline.

 There he is at the end where you fly upside down.

 All done

 Zack getting ready to ride

 The kids thinking Grandpa is the coolest!!!

 Kinda screwed up the sequence on these next few pics. In this pic Max is climbing the ladder to ride the zip line.

 Here he comes. You can barely see him.

 Max flew completely upside down at the end of the zip line

 Matty on the zip line

 My pretty little Gracie

 Cuter than cute Joshers

 Steph took the kids for a ride in the side by side

 Tyler, Chris, Rob, Jenise, Me, & Brian

Me & Brian

 J.J. & Stephanie

  Brian pointed out this heart shaped patch of snow.

 This part of the ride is VERY steep and scary to go up or down. All us girls bailed off and walked down...

 Chris and Tyler

 If you put sunscreen on right before a 2 hour 4-wheeler ride you might end up looking like this...

A few thoughts

Sometimes if I ask Gracie if she wants to take a nap she'll say no and then a little while later she'll say she does want to go ni-nite. So I asked her today if she wanted to go ni-nite and she said, "No, dedo" and smiled really cheesy.
Max was playing with my hair today. I have my bangs pulled back in a couple of bobbie pins today. He had one of Gracie's hair flowers in his hand and said, "I'm just going to cover these up with a flower because when I see them I think they are kind of hideous."

I'm finally enjoying the summer. We're just kickin' back and havin' fun and I'm feeling very relaxed. In most ways I'm not looking forward to school starting. I am, however, looking forward to having a cleaner house. That's it. That's the only reason I'm looking forward to school today. Tomorrow if the kids start fighting I'll look forward to school starting then too. I'm really looking forward to having some one on one time with Gracie. She is such a sweetie and the poor thing is kid #4 so she pretty much just has to go with the flow. It will be nice to not have anybody in preschool. Being able to keep up with the house better will be nice. It will be nice to feel like things are more calm and relaxed. I really NEED some calm and relaxation in my life!

Can you believe I actually braved free swimming day at the pool for International Days? They said there were over 1,000 people there that day and I believe it! It was crazy! But we had fun! Gracie freaks out when the waves turn on but by the time we left that day she wanted me to take her to the biggest wave in the pool. She's so cute! I love spending time with my kids and feeling like I can actually feel like doing fun things like that with them by myself. I am really thankful for modern medicine!!!

To Forgive or Not to Forgive...THAT is The Question....

When I was in college I started to really "get" the gospel. Oh, I was raised with it and went to church every week and listened to talks and lessons about the gospel but it wasn't until I was in college that it all kind of came together in my mind and I really started to understand it all. As I read the scriptures I began to question different teachings and principals of the gospel. It seemed that each time I went to church the lessons and talks were about the particular subject I was curious about and answers leapt from the pages as I read The Book of Mormon. Well, since we have lived here I have wondered about two different things; recognizing the spirit and forgiveness. Working with the youth of the church has been wonderful for me. I have learned a lot!

There have been many lessons and talks given at church about the spirit and how to recognize it. I feel much more confident about recognizing the spirit because of these talks and lessons. When we went to the Manti Temple once for baptisms a man told the youth to focus on the way they were feeling in the temple that day. He said there is a different feeling in the temple than anywhere else. That feeling is the spirit. The more you try to make choices that will bring the spirit  such as; reading scriptures, attending church and other meetings, praying always, and attending the temple as much as possible, the more they will be able to feel the spirit and recognize it's guidance and direction in their lives. That really helped me a lot! Another experience I had happened just yesterday, actually. We were having a combined meeting and a counselor in the Bishopric was giving the lesson. It was about the spirit. He said that often times we wonder; is it the spirit talking to me or is it just my own thoughts? He said if it's a good choice then it doesn't really matter, if we just do it, good will come from it. Our bishop was in the meeting and was talking about that too. It just came to my mind when he was talking that if we just start always following that feeling when it comes, whether it's the spirit or our own thoughts, the spirit will know that we will actually listen to it and won't stop giving us those impressions. We are taught in the scriptures that we are to be submissive and ALWAYS listening to those promptings definitely helps us to be submissive. I know everyone else probably already knows all this and it just takes me longer to learn things but it sure feels great to understand the Holy Ghost better!

As for forgiveness...I'm still not there yet. There have been so many lessons and talks on forgiveness lately that it's kind of crazy and I STILL struggle! I know that we are supposed to forgive EVERYONE. I "get" that. We have forgiven and forgotten over and over and over again. We aren't big grudge holders. We can forgive and forget and continue to be around people no matter what. We have had issues with some of our family for over a year now and I have to wonder if what we are doing is acceptable to the Lord. We have chosen to just not have them in our lives. We love them very much (some more than others (<:  ) and we really miss having them in our lives. But we have been hurt by them so badly. They don't feel that they have done anything wrong. They heard our side of things and they just flat out don't care. They have turned their backs on us and have listened to lie after lie that others have told them about us. So, the question is...do you have to forgive people who don't think they have done anything wrong and don't even WANT your forgiveness in the first place? We are very forgiving people!!! We would give them forgiveness in a heartbeat if they asked for it. But they jut plain don't want it. What they want is for us to just come around again and act like nothing ever happened. We feel that THEY should be asking for OUR forgiveness. So what do you do in this situation? There is one of the people involved that we don't really have anything against and we just kind of feel like they were caught in the middle and we would love nothing more than to mend that relationship and be part of each others lives again. We just can't picture family gatherings with EVERYONE. Just too much! So how does it play into the rules of forgiveness? Do you have to give forgiveness to people who don't want it? THAT is my question...

If we do forgive do we still HAVE to be around them and allow their toxic influences into our lives? Can we truly forgive them if we don't let them back into our lives? It's just so hard! Forgiveness, in the past has been easier because it was easier to get over the situation. This situation is just so stinking hard for us. We just can't ever imagine having most of the people in our lives again. Too much has been said and done. You can't just erase years of lies behind our backs and years of trying to destroy us in others' eyes, and all the words that have been spoken. The damage is irreparable it seems. Trust has been obliterated! I want to forgive them but I don't want to spend time with people who think so little of me and my husband and children. Is that WRONG?

I love our ward so much!!!!!

I just love our Ward! When we lived in Cedar City we had a really great Ward! When we lived in Pleasant Grove you could say we weren't so fond of our Ward. We absolutely adored our Ward in Salem! It was just wonderful! We feel the same way about the Ward we are in now. Loving our Ward makes such a huge difference in our lives. We actually look forward to going to church. We go to activities. We feel the spirit at church.  We have a calm, comforting feeling that we don't have when we don't love our Ward. We feel like we are part of a Ward FAMILY. We matter, you know?! It adds to our joy.....

I Always Feel Like Somebody's Watching Me....., scripture marking, that dadgum tooth fairy!, Brian's delicioso burritos

~As a parent you I feel the magnitude of the responsibility I have to raise good, decent, humble, active participants in church, and successful, upstanding citizens of this crazy world. I realize that I have to be a good example to them in every way because they learn so much by watching others. Now that I have a daughter I feel this responsibility even more than before! What she sees and hears me do will shape the kind of person she will be, just the same as it will shape her brothers. But it will also shape the kind of wife and mother she will be. Kind of mind blowing for me! She truly watches EVERYTHING I do. She is so cute to watch as she does stuff I do. She loves to help me with every task. She is a hard little worker! Her favorite way to help is to hand me the clean dishes from the dishwasher. Today I got out a towel to dry the dishes with since I usually use plastic cups and they just never seem to dry in the dishwasher. Well, Gracie got herself a towel out of the drawer and came over and started drying off dishes too. Oh my goodness! It was adorable! She melts my heart! She.is.JOY!!!
~So I went to that little scripture marking class last month and the teacher gave us a piece of paper with all the scripture mastery scriptures on it. She said she figures that if the youth of the church need to memorize them she should probably at least have them marked in her scriptures. She marks them in a rainbow of colored pencils so she knows when she runs across them she will remember that they are scripture mastery scriptures. I have been marking them in my scriptures since Brian got them for me a few years ago and I haven't marked very many scriptures in them yet. Although, Gracie has done her fair share of marking them!  ;)   I have so enjoyed marking these scriptures because they are just wonderful, inspiring, faith building, thought provoking, scriptures! I don't really take time to read scriptures on my own. We do as a family and that is wonderful but I really feel like I need to make more of an effort personally to study the scriptures on my own. I am so grateful for the scriptures! What a wonderful gift we've been given by our Heavenly Father and our Savior, Jesus Christ!  The prophets in the scriptures had such courage, such faith, such obedience. We can learn so many things from them!!!
~K, soooo, my face had been feeling like I was having birthing contractions for a couple days. So intense and unbearable! I don't think I've ever cried from the pain I have there before. I just try to be tough but that pain had me curled up in a ball on my bed, crying like a baby!!! Then my last tooth on the top on the right hurt so badly it's ridiculous so I went to the doctor. The crappiest part was that my T.N. could be causing that pain or it could just be a rotten tooth. My dentist said the only way he could tell if it was the tooth was to remove the filling I had in that tooth and basically do a root canal which would cost like $1500 and it could just be the stupid nerve causing it in the first place and I would have wasted $1500. I just had him pull it. He said it's really not that important of a tooth anyway. So, now I've had 3 teeth pulled. And not once has that dadgum tooth fairy brought me so much as a penny! Can you believe that?!?!  :)
~Brian makes these AMAZING pork burritos! I mean seriously TO DIE FOR!!! They are super easy to make too. And the smell fabulous!!! Ok, so this is what he does....

Brian's Delicioso Burritos

*Place a pork roast in the crock pot.
*Pour a can of that green chili verde enchilada sauce over it.
*Cut some onion up and throw that in. Brian cuts it into pretty big chunks so the kids can easily pick it out.  :)
*Cut up an Anaheim pepper and throw that in too. We didn't have one last time and it was still fabulous!!
*Let it cook in your crock pot for  like 6-8 hours from frozen.
*Put some on a flour tortilla and roll it up and ENJOY!!! We put cheese on the kids' meat in their tortilla because they'll pretty much eat anything that is covered in cheese! :)

YA THINK, NANCY DREW?!?!?!

K, so, I have had SO much pain lately and the last thing I want to do is wash my car but it was so dirty I decided I just couldn't take it any longer. I washed it on our driveway and I was drying it off with a towel when this lady pulls into the driveway and stops her car. She was super skinny. She had bulgy eyes and long, stringy, yellow hair and was smoking a cigarrette. She kind of reminded me of a witch on a movie or something. I walked up to her car and asked if I could help her and she said, "I called the police!" I was like "Why, what happened?" She looks at me like I'm stupid and says, "Well, you ran into my car at the stop sign getting off the highway!"  I was all, "NO I didn't!!!" And she was all, "Yes you DID!!!"  I was like, "When did this supposedly take place?" She said, "About an hour ago." It was around 4:00 at the time. I was like, "Well, I haven't left my house since noon!!!" She was all, "Well, I drove by a few minutes ago and you were washing your car and it looked suspicious." Since when does it look suspicious to wash your car?!?! She said,"Well, the lady sure looked like you and the car looked just like yours!" I drive a silver Ford Windstar. I said, "It's a VAN, we live in UTAH, they're everywhere!!!"  I was all, "I don't appreciate you coming here, accusing me of something that I didn't do!" She said, "WELL, can I LOOK at your car?"  I was all, "Go for it!!!"  So she looks at my car and of course she saw nothing and said, "Well, you aren't the one!"  YA THINK, NANCY DREW?!?!  Then she said, "I'm sorry but I am just so upset and I thought you were the one who did it."  I said, "Well, I would be upset too but you really shouldn't accuse people of things they didn't do." She said that the police got the other lady's license plate # so they would be able to find her. They also told her that the lady lived on Rose Avenue. I was like, "Well, this isn't Rose Avenue! It's over..." She interrupted and said that she knows where Rose Avenue IS! Right about that time she noticed Zack, then Gracie walked around the car with our dog and Max was walking around and she just said again that she was SO sorry, that she was just upset. I told her again that I understood and that I would have been upset about her situation too if it were me. Then she drove off.

CRAZY!!! 

I needed this one...

My friend Holly posted another good thought on facebook. I really needed to read this one!

Don't lose hope. When you are down to nothing, God is up to something. Keep your faith strong! ♥

Welllllll....

I went to that Dr's appointment. The first lady that came in acted like I didn't even have TN and was trying to diagnose me. I was like I know what I have I just need further treatment...HELLO MCFLY!!! So she finally got her superior who knew a lot about TN and she came in and was like yes, I totally think you have TN. She said that she thinks I should just keep trying to find the right medicine and the right dose for me and if I ever get to the point where I don't get relief from medication anymore then I should consider surgery but otherwise it should absolutely be a last resort. She said that she understands my desire to get off of my medications and not have to take them forever but since TN can go into remission and since I am much younger that most people with it I should just patiently wait it out. Most people who get it are in their 60's or 70's but you can get it at any age. She said the surgical treatments are fairly new and they can be scary. They can cause you to have even more problems than you already had in the first place. Or the problem can happen all over again. I have heard some real horror stories so I suppose it is best to not have surgery. BUT since November, when I FINALLY had a diagnosis from 3 different doctors and I started researching treatments and stuff I have just been dealing with the pain the best I could knowing that there was an end in sight. I just KNEW that I would go to this appointment that I have been on the waiting list for all of this time and they would tell me which of the procedures they thought would work best for me, I would have it done and then I would be all better. I could be the mom and wife I really want to be again. So today I have been very upset. I just can't help it. Now that I don't have an end in sight, no motivating factor, what do I do. Am I strong enough to endure this crap? It seriously sucks! I don't want to have Trigeminal Neuralgia!!! I just want it to go away! I don't want it to continue robbing me and my family of ME!!!! I know that this stupid thing gets progressively worse and I am really scared about that. The fact that they call it "The Suicide Disease" because it just gets so horrid that you just can't take it anymore terrifies me. I have tried so hard to be as positive as possible. People are always surprised when they find out what I have because I try so hard to not let it show. But right now I just want a whole day of just staying in bed, just sleeping and crying and wallowing in self pity. Just accepting it fully as something I will have to endure the rest of my life and trying to get all the negative feelings out. Then the next day I can just get out of bed, dust myself off and go forward. But instead I have to just keep going and that really sucks. No wallowing in self pity for me. Ok, so I am still wallowing today but I just can't do it while laying in bed. :) I get to do it while I clean the house. Tomorrow is a new day and hopefully I have a new attitude because today's attitude really bites!!!

Yeah, right! In your ever lovin' dreams!!!!

So, I'm officially old and all. It's my 20 year high school class reunion in August. I already have trepedations about attending the reunion anyway because of things like:

~my fatness

~the cost of attending (especially the dinner...WOW 50 bucks a couple at the Country Club)

~my fatness

~not sure if any of my friends will attend anyway

~my fatness

~what if nobody even remembers who I am because I only attended school with them for 2 years since I       moved from Kansas just before my Junior year. That would be so humiliating!!!

~my fatness

~what if nobody recognizes me because of my fatness and all and even if they would remember me they just don't recognize me because I weigh like 100 lbs. more than I did in high school. (not quite but it sure feels that way!)

~and oh yeah, have I mentioned my fatness?!

Imagine the laughter that ensued as I read the schedule of events for the reunion and saw where they are planning to have us all meet at the pool that Saturday afternoon and swim....I honestly cannot think of anything more humiliating than showing off my flab-alanche, farmer tanned (mostly ghostly white), stretch marked from having 4 babies, 38 year-old, "booty"licious, boob hangin' low, body at the POOL at my HIGH SCHOOL class reunion!!!! WHAT can they POSSIBLY be thinking?! I know there isn't much to do here for entertainment but PUHLEASE! I'm thinkin' I'll take a big ol' pass on that one. Thanks anyhoo though! "major rolling of eyes"

I'm so excited!!!!

So, I've been on a waiting list with University of Utah Neurosurgery since November. I could have had an appointment a long time ago if I wanted to go to just any old doctor but this is my HEAD we're talking about here! I want to go to someone who knows what they're doing. Since I've had this Trigeminal Neuralgia diagnosis I have heard many a horror story. Most likely I'll have to have surgery where they cut into my skull and treat the nerve so I really don't want to just go to some Joe Shmo that wants to use me as a guinea pig or something. It's been SO tempting to just go to someone else, especially lately since my medicine hasn't been working so well but I am SOOOO excited because they finally called today!! I have an actual appointment on July 11. I am so happy I could cry. I'm also more than just a little bit scared. I mean, surgery is scary!!! I'm hoping and praying that they can help me and I can be a little bit closer to normal.  ; )

It's exactly the way I pictured it!!!

Today is wonderful! I feel fantastic! The kids are having tons of fun! They played in the mud with friends. I mean PLAYED in the mud, mud from head to toe. It rained today, whatchya gonna do?! They rode their bikes. Our back "yard" is just dirt and weeds. I think it is ugly but I also think it's a really cool "boy" backyard. There is a big dirt circle drive kind of a thing that the kids like to dig in and ride bikes on and stuff. There is a big area that is like an acre that they can ride bikes on. They catch lizards. They get super dirty every day. They have a couple of adorable little neighbor friends to play with. I have a friend who comes over sometimes to play  and our kids like to play together. They have the 2 little kids to play with that I babysit. I'm so glad because I had to FORCE them to play outside last summer! They hated it and I felt so bad for them. So now they are happy and I am just so glad!
As I was hosing them down and we were laughing and they were having so much fun being hosed down, it occurred to me that THIS was exactly how I always pictured motherhood being. Everything about today just feels...GREAT!! It's great to feel good and to feel like I'm able to keep up today. I have felt really rotten for like almost 3 weeks now. So-much-pain. Yesterday pretty much sucked!!! No other way to put it! It was painful and I had to take 6 kids with me to the vet to see what is wrong with my poor, sweet, dog. More about my dog later. He's a mini schnauzer. I LOVE HIM!!! He ADORES me! He's been with us since January and has been my little pal through all the good days and bad. They say he's bleeding internally and they think he got into poison. He's on vitamin K and an antibiotic. After that I had to take Gracie to the doctor because she has an ear infection. Thankfully I only had to take Gracie and Tessa, they are both 2. They are adorable! But every time I turned around it was something. It just kept getting worse and worse all day. So it's amazing to feel so much better today! It's great to feel like I'm more "together" today. I really just love being a mom today!!!

Tomorrow is a new day.

Hopefully it's a pain free day.

 Hopefully it's another day where things just flow and everyone is happy.

Hopefully it's another day that is exactly like I always pictured it being.

I just always pictured the house being a LOT cleaner so hopefully tomorrow it WILL be!!

     ;)    

I'm hoping you are having a really great day too!!!

Hooray for great days!

My hair before...

My hair after...

I'm loving this deal I made with a lady in our church. I watch her sweet as pie little kids for a few hours a week and she does my hair and my kid's and Brian's too. Our kids all love each other so it's almost like she's doing me this big favor by letting her kids come play with my kids so my kids don't fight with each other all day and complain about how bored they are. I love it!

Pageant, Rockets, Summertime, S'mores, Scripture Marking Class

~I went to The Mormon Miracle Pageant in Manti last night with the Y.W. It has been so many years since I last went that I can't remember how long ago. Before we had kids anyway. We ate BBQ Turkey dinners at a ward building...the only way to go! Then we ate yummy custard and Italian Ice treats. SO YUMMY!!! Then we watched the pageant. There were parts in it that I didn't remember from years past. I'm sure they were there before but now that I'm old (they are having our 20 year high school reunion this year...that's OLD!!!) and have kids and have a stronger testimony and such, it just was so emotional for me to watch. I got teary quite often. When they portrayed the part in The Book of Mormon when Jesus visited the Nephites and blessed them and healed the sick and taught them and blessed their children, I really cried. It was so spiritually moving and just wonderful! Of course it's one of my favorite parts to read so being able to see it acted out was really neat. I am just so grateful for the opportunity I had to go this year. I was worried about going. The umbilical cord doesn't stretch all the way to Manti ya know. :)  But I went and I am so glad I did! It was even worth getting home at 1:30 a.m. and not sleeping until 2:30a.m.! Our Y.W. are such amazing girls and I just love spending time with them! I want to go next year with my little family.

~This morning the kids woke us up at 7:30 and we got ourselves ready and went to the home of some of our church members to watch an awesome rocket show! They set off tons of rockets. All different sizes. From super tiny to about 5 feet tall. I figured I could put this in the category of "things we do for our children". I was super surprised when I actually had a lot of fun watching! The time flew by! It was fun for everyone there, especially the kids! They all wanted to be the one who found the rocket after it landed. The people live out in the boonies so the kids had plenty of room to be free and run wild! Who can ask for anything more than that when you are a boy? Gracie hated the experience. It scared her to death each time one went off. But there were some adorable little baby bunnies nestled together by their house that a wild bunny had and oh they were the cutest little things! Gracie really liked them so at least it wasn't all bad for her. The ward member's who invited everyone out do this show every year. They invite people from the college out since he used to teach at the college, they invite ward members and friends. Their kids plan their summer vacations for the rocket show weekend. It's so much fun! One of their daughters said to me that she was surprised by how many people came out for the show. I said, well, there isn't a lot of entertainment in this town so when someone invites people for a fun time we're all there!!!

~Don't you love summertime. Some days I just absolutely love summer?! Some days not so much! When the kids get along pretty well...and they make the most of the opportunity to ride bikes and dig in the dirt all day long in our back yard...we eat some kind of yummy summer food like a BLT, juicy watermelon, corn on the cob, BBQ ANYTHING, yummy potato salad and Aunt Marilyn's fabulous baked beans...we walk through the store and smell the sweet scent of ripe nectarines and peaches throughout the produce area and my mouth starts to water...Strawberry Shortcake...spending lots of time outside...the smell of freshly cut grass, lilacs, and roses...THEN, all is right with the world and I LOVE summer! 

but...

when the kids can't stop fighting with each other, hurting each other, and hurting each other's feelings...having to take 4 kids along when I go to the grocery store...having to pull pokey stickers out of my kids feet constantly because they refuse to wear shoes outside...the whining...complaining...fighting over which wii game to play or movie to watch...the constant messes...not being able to afford to go on nice little mountain drives because the price of gas is OUT...OF...CONTROL!!!, THEN I'm not such a big fan of summer!

~There is a fire pit in our back yard. Tonight we're going to roast marshmallows over it and have s'mores. I can't wait!!! Brian is cooking some delicious chicken and rice in the dutch oven. I sure do love to eat! :)

~Thursday night there was a scripture marking class for a Relief Society activity. Oh, it was awesome! The lady brought us fun little sticker things to put in our scriptures. She suggested some fun things like, mark words in your scriptures that are about Jesus, Heavenly Father, good, happy things with yellow soft color pencil. Mark scripture mastery scriptures in kind of a rainbow pattern. Mark things that are about Satan or evil with red pencil. Use other colors you like for other things. She just really got us all excited about the scriptures and taught us things that will help us be able to understand the scriptures better. It was a really great experience! I can't wait for her to come again!

Randomness...

~There is a chick in our ward named Nicki who has the cutest hair! I asked her who she goes to, since I'm still trying to find someone to do my hair. She said she does it herself and that she works at a salon here in town. I figured if she can do her own hair that well, she must be GOOD!  Well, you can imagine how thrilled I was when she called me a couple of weeks ago and asked me if I would like to do a trade. I would watch her kids 1 or 2 days a week and she would do my family's hair.

Ummm, yeah!!!!

 To  be honest, I was a bit worried. I mean, you never know what you're gonna get when you watch other people's kids. But they are so well behaved. Ty is 8 years old and Max and Matthew LOVE playing with him. Tessa is going to turn 2 in July and she and Gracie get along really well too. I do have to save poor Tessa from my bully daughter, who has a hard time with this whole sharing thing, from time to time. But other than that they are getting along really well. Ty has great manners too. So far it's going great and everyone is happy!  It's been fun getting to know Nicki as well. I finally found a picture of what I want my hair to look like and I can't wait to have it done!

~Between having Zack on a Cal Ripkin Majors team, Matthew on a Cal Ripkin Pee Wee team, and Max starting T-ball this week on a city league team, we go to a LOT of baseball games! We have 9 this week alone. Tonight will be #7. It's been a lot of fun watching the kids having such a great time! It's been really fun to see the different ability levels too. T-ball and Pee Wee are just so remedial compared to Majors. Everyone cheers for both teams and are just so positive and nice. There are a few overzealous (crazy) parents who expect super great things out of their poor kids at this level and are continuously disappointed when it just doesn't work out the way they want it to. It cracks me up to listen to them! Then you go to the Majors and h-o-l-y  c-o-w! The parents REALLY get into it! Last year was really fun to watch but this year is AWESOME!!! All of the players finally really get how to play and they make some incredibly awesome plays! It's exciting to watch and I don't dread the games like I used to. I think a lot of why I dreaded them so much in the past was the way I felt physically. It has been so incredible, the contrast between how I feel this year as compared to how I felt last year. It was bad! It just makes me so grateful each and every day that I feel better. I still have some sporadic pain here and there most days but most of the time I feel great! It's truly a blessing!!! An answer to prayer for sure!!! 

~I have finally started trying to lose some weight. I have gained 20 lbs since November and I can't fit my fat butt into any of my jeans except my maternity ones and ones that have that stretchiness to them. Definite low point!!! And I saw some very cute, thin, girls I went to high school with and I looked like the stay puffed marshmallow man. So humiliating!!! So, I decided I have to do something about it! I've been trying to exercise and I have made some minor changes with my eating habits. I lost 10 lbs!!! Which inspired me to keep at it! Brian has lost some weight too. We both need to be healthier for sure!

~My kids have finally figured out that it's so much more fun to play outside than it is to stay in the house, which is a huge plus! Last year I had to force them to play outside.

~We were able to find Matthew's backpack that he left at school on the last day of school. It had his inhaler in it and some other medicine equaling about $70. I was totally freaking out. We looked in the lost and found 2 different times before we found it.

~I feel like we live at the dentist office. Matty and Zack both have retainers. Both of them have broken them twice. They have only had them since like April or something. Matthew even threw his away at school and the super nice janitor spotted it on his tray in the garbage can and took it out. Thankfully! Course, about 3 hours later he broke it. I tell ya, this could drive a mom to drink!

~So we all know it's not good for us to eat fried foods. I rarely fry. Maybe a few times a year. I found another reason not to do it a few weeks when I was frying some chicken for my family to have between baseball games while I was at a Young Women's barbecue and homework burn. I placed a wing in the front of the pan and reached over it to put another one on the other side of it at the back of the pan and right when my hand was about an inch above the first wing, it popped. Oil splattered on my wrist. It burned it bad! It blistered up and has gone through some interesting changes over the past 2 weeks. Not fun! There is one part that I can't get to heal and it was the most blistered. So frying is not my friend! I feel so bad for people who are burned in accidents.I can only imagine what they must go through!

~Oh, and for those of you wondering, the Essure thing has been wonderful!Just make sure you get everything worked out with your insurance company and your drs office before having it done.

I'm not as good at it as my cousin is!!! But at least I tried! :)

My incredibly talented cousin, Becky, makes these AMAZING cakes. She lives in Utah County and has started a business making cakes for people. My sister Steph has asked her to make 3 different cakes. They are all masterpieces. I don't have a picture of the fabulous cake she make for my nephew, Josh, but it was so awesome!!! She made a Toy Story one and it was a moving day box and the characters were all coming out of it and there were packing peanuts and stuff. It was all edible except for a couple of the characters that she bought at the store but otherwise she made each character and everything herself. You can see it on her blog if you want.  http://thecakemama.blogspot.com/

She made this fun cake for my beautiful little niece's birthday.

She made this one for my mom's 70th birthday party. She was born in Kansas and lived there until I was 16 then we moved out here. This cake was perfect for my mom!!!

Gracie's party had a Hawaiian theme. I found this adorable Hawaiian Hula Girl cake idea online and copied it. You make it the same way you make the Barbie cake with the Pampered Chef Large Batter Bowl or you can use a Pyrex bowl. My friend Sherelle suggested to cut it in half and put some frosting in between so there isn't just a big ol' piece of cake without frosting. It was super easy and I think it turned out cute. It of course wasn't professional looking but still cute and fun! I'll post some more pics of her bday on my Word From the Zoo blog soon.

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the $1 store for cheap, cute, fun decorations!!! The only reason I chose a Hawaiian theme was because the $1 store had such cute Hawaiian decorations! So much fun!

I had so much fun with these cupcakes! Aren't they cute?!

A little catching up...

K so I know I haven't blogged in a really long time, it's actually been almost a whole month! Crazy for me! But my medicine has been working REALLY well...most of the time anyway. I still have some really bad days, sometimes for several days in a row. But I'm definitely having more good days than bad days...I'll take it!!!! On the really good days I think of a zillion things to blog about but I'm running around doing all the things I can't do on the bad days. I still try to just work through life in pain on those days, I'm just a LOT slower! I have to sit down more often and rest. Thank goodness for recliners! I just try to find joy on those bad days by spending more time with the kids. Reading to them. We like to watch movies and eat popcorn together when it hurts too much. I love the chance that those bad days give me to just spend time with the kids, snuggling 1 or 2 kids on the recliner while we watch our movies. The good days have been like a dream come true! I can mow weeds, clean more deeply, run errands, organize our house better. When we moved in a year ago we just haphazardly put things away just to get rid of the piles boxes in the house. I have reorganized most closets, drawers, cabinets, to make them more functional. I just get so much more done on good days than I do on bad days for sure!!! I have caught myself feeling FANTASTIC many times and doing things I couldn't for so long and I just feel so incredibly happy that it always brings tears to my eyes to feel NO PAIN and I feel like myself for a change! Then when I go back to having my Trigeminal Neuralgia pain on bad days that brings tears to my eyes too. I am so grateful to have found a wonderful doctor who knew what was wrong with me AND how to help me! I am grateful to a wonderful friend who, when I mentioned I didn't have a dishwasher, gave us a dishwasher that they had in their garage that was from a different house they had. Her very clever husband build a cover for it since it is the kind of dishwasher that is meant to be built in to your cabinets. We had to have it as a portable one so he made it portable. He also came over to our house 2 evenings in a row hooking it up. I cannot begin to tell you how grateful I am to have a dishwasher!!! As you might imagine, we have a LOT of dishes around here seeing as how there are 6 of us and we eat out once or twice a month, if that often. So 3 meals a day for 6 people.....fun stuff!! I have spent more hours washing dishes this past year than I care to think about. What a time saver a dishwasher is! I feel giddy every time I close the dishwasher door and press the buttons to start it and walk away after spending a few minutes loading it! It's unbelievably freeing! And I am so incredibly grateful that they so generously gave us the dishwasher and that he sacrificed 2 evenings hooking it up!!!

Baseball season has been going on and tonight Matty has his second game at 7:00 and Zack has a game at 6:00 to make up for the game they couldn't play yesterday because of rain. Matty is a natural when it comes to hitting! He's awesome! Zack has been playing second base this year. He has always played third base before so it's a bit different but he likes it and does a good job! He's been hitting the ball, being pitched to him since he was 2 years old but he's been hit by the ball a couple of times from some wild pitches and he has not hit much at all for 2 or 3 years. It drives us nuts because we know he can do it he just needed to get past the fear of getting hit. I finally told him a couple of weeks ago to just forget everything his different coaches have told him about how to stand and stuff and just watch the ball. It doesn't matter how he stands or what he does if he doesn't watch the ball. I told him baseball is meant to be fun and if you aren't having fun then what's the point?! And I told him that the worst case scenario is that he gets hit by a ball. He's done that and he lived so don't worry! It did the trick! That night he actually hit the ball!!! We were so excited for him! He has been hitting the ball at games ever since! They had a tournament last week. Friday night his team won which meant he had a game Saturday morning at 9:00. That was Gracie's bday and I had a zillion things to do so I couldn't go to the game. He hit the ball way out to right field and made it to 2nd base and 2 of his teammates scored off of that hit! What a confidence boost for him! I was so happy for him! His team lost but they still have the best record in the league for the tournament  with only one loss, so they play tonight again. They would have been finished last week but with all the cancelled games because of rain, the tournament is still going on. I can't wait to see how his team fares!

Can you believe Gracie is 2 now?! It just blows my mind! I'll try to post some of the fun pics of her bday. For now I have to go...busy, busy, busy!!! :)

This is beautiful!!

I saw this on facebook and HAD to share it! It is just beautiful!!! Made me cry! She has been given a wonderful gift of a beautiful voice and a stage to sing anything she wanted and she chose this. I so love this song and she did a marvelous job!!!

A few random thoughts

~Life has been so crazy busy lately but nothing bloggable has really happened so I am at a total loss for what to blog about but I never go this long without blogging so I just had to say something so y'all know that I'm still around.

~I would like to give a shout out to my brother-in-law, Richard, who left Wednesday for his 4th tour of Iraq with the Army Green Beret's/Special Forces. I am so grateful for his willingness to serve his country! And I am so grateful to my sister and her kids for the sacrifice they are giving as well. It's not easy to have your husband or father gone from you for months on end to a scary place!!! Our thoughts and prayers are definitely with their family right now!!!


~Can you believe my Max is going to start kindergarten next school year. I have been looking forward to it quite frankly because he just needs that structure and interaction and mental stimulation. He is so smart and I have been so sick and it's been really hard to do what I know he needs. Thank goodness for preschool!!! He had kindergarten kickoff yesterday and it hit me how grown up he is and it made me sad. I can't believe my babies are growing so fast. My Zack will be 11 this month. How did that happen?! Matthew will be baptized and he'll begin the scouting program later this year. It just goes so fast! And my baby will be 2 in May. Wow did that fly by!!! I'm sure going to miss my Max when he goes to kindergarten but I'm happy for him!!! I know he'll LOVE it!!!

~So, I think we might have finally found the medicine combination that will work for me. For the past few days I've only had pain for a couple of hours in the evening when I need to take my medicine again. That has been fantastic! The medicine makes me really tired and kind of dopey but it helps the pain so that's a great thing! It's been a very busy week so it's been nice to have a couple of days without so much pain!!!

I'm A Worry Wart!!!

 So, pretty much if you know me or have ever read my blog you know that my son Matthew is allergic to peanuts and tree nuts. Well, he's been having random breakouts of hives and itching and mild allergic reactions to who knows what lately so we decided to have him tested to see what else he might be allergic to. He was tested today and wellllll, lets just say, what isn't this kid allergic to?! Seriously bad!

Oats

Shellfish

Soybeans

White Potato

Egg

Whole Wheat

Horses

Cats

Dogs

Pretty much EVERY weed, grass, and tree known to man

FUN TIMES!!

Some friends of mine were telling me about some of the symptoms their kids have with their food allergies and they are things like...fatigue and orneriness because their poor little tummies were torn up and they would have headaches lots and then once they either eliminated the food item or cut their intake way down after they had their allergy tests  their kids were like completely different people. Happy and relaxed and enjoyable to be around. I decided it would be a good idea to just test all of us to make sure I'm not feeding us all things that could be causing us problems. Zack was tested today as well and he is allergic to

Milk

Soy

Oat

Egg

Horses

Cats Dog

And pretty much every weed, grass, and tree known to man

Matthew has been allergic to soy all along but when he was tested at around 2 years old it was a very mild allergy and now it is much, much worse. We've been thinking it must be worse because he is affected now to things with soy in them, where he used to be fine to eat stuff with soy in it. Soy is in almost everything!

Oh well. Whatchya gonna do!?

This just makes me more determined to make our treats from scratch and make our meals from scratch instead of feeding our kids processed foods because there are so many crazy things added to processed foods and it's just all around healthier to make our own food and to be able to control the ingredients our family eats.

Many a child in the world would give their right arm to be allergic to oats and not have to eat oatmeal for breakfast anymore but my kids were actually disappointed. Go figure!

I'm trying to "cut the cord" as Brian said and be ok with Matthew going on his first REAL field trip next Thursday. They will be on a bus for 4 hours round trip and all the kids will have uncrustable peanut butter sandwiches to eat except Matthew and the other 2 kids in his class that are also allergic to peanuts. It just scares me to death. I know I probably should trust that the teachers and parents that are going will be able to keep my son alive from 8am to 5pm with lots of other kids around him eating peanuts. It just makes me sick to my stomach to think about it. I'm such a worry wart!