Sunday, January 8, 2012

Just a little venting... :)

~Well, Christmas is finally over at our house. Brian got tired of waiting for me to have time to take it all down so he decided to do it himself on Friday. We still have our Christmas lights on the house and fence but other than that it's finally all put away. I have mixed feelings about it actually. We got a real tree from Sam's Club this year. It.was.gorgeous! And our decorations looked so pretty on it. After it was decoration free it STILL looked gorgeous! The needles weren't even dried out or anything. Usually they are brittle by now. We had such a lovely Christmas this year! Kind of sad it's over! When Max was 3 years old, we were driving down the road and he asked, "Mom, can we go to Christmas?" I thought it was so cute that he loved Christmas so much!

~Brian's lack of employment is totally freaking me out now! I was cool with it at first because he had the severence package and will receive pay checks through February 1st. Well, in the beginning I was super busy and we had a little time to look for work so I wasn't too upset. Now that he only gets one more paycheck, I'm having a heart attack! One of my favorite parts of my job is that I get to see people I know, all the time. There are so many members of our church where we live that there have to be 11 different sessions in 5 different buildings. Each session called a ward and each ward has a number, so that we can keep track easier. Well, my parents ward was the 8th ward and it has been really fun to see some of the people I love who are in that ward. And the people from our current ward that we just LoVe! I've been able to see some of my friends from high school also. And a friend I made while attending the college here when Matthew was 3 months old and Zack was 3 years old. Her name is Kelly. She is an AMAZING woman! I just love her! I was SOOO thrilled to see her and it made me so happy that she was as happy to see me as I was to see her! I think of her as a "kindred spirit"! I've met a few "kindred spirits" over the years and they continue to bless my life today! The only problem with working at Walmart, and seeing so many people that I know, is that most of them are so awesome and concerned about us that they ask if Brian has found a job yet. He's applied in outher states and for jobs that aren't Accounting related. He just wants ANYTHING! I appreciate the concern and the love they have for us but hearing that all of the time is starting to really weigh me down. I'm already starting to get depressed about it and then to have constant reminders is just really hard. I need to pray harder that we'll be able to have joy in our trial because that has worked for us in the past and I really need that strength if I'm going to make it through this! I know it could be worse. People are mourning loved ones, watching their loved ones suffer through cancer, chemo, and other horrid diseases. Our trial pales in comparison! I just really worry about having to move our kids from school, the town we live in, their friends, our ward. We need to be able to feed, clothe, and provide shelter for our our 4 children. It's just so scary and overwhelming for me that I just can't take it! Not to mention how very much I hate the whole process of moving!!! The packing. The cleaning. the loading. The unloading. The unpacking. The sorting. The collecting boxes. The switching utilities. All of the deposits. The paperwork involved in registering 3 kids at their new school. I know, I'm so lazy, right! But U~G~H!!!!!

~I'll try to be more positive next post! :)  Just needed to vent a little...

No comments: