Lately I just can't get judgement off of my mind. One day on Facebook one of "friends" on there wrote this long post about how horrible he thinks it is that there are so many people out of work and they live off of the government, using medicaid and food stamps and on and on he went. I am really sensitive about this subject because...hello! Brian has been out of work off and on and going back to school and stuff. There were times in the past that we used medicaid and yes, even food stamps, to help us through a rough spot. I hated doing it! It was humiliating! It was degrading! It was awful...but...my family didn't starve and my children were well taken care of. Matthew had pneumonia and x-rays and asthma and chronic croup and nebulizing treatments and scary allergic reactions and Zack had broken bones and stitches, etc. I am incredibly grateful for the help we received during difficult times that provided my children with the medical attention they needed and with food to eat.
People kept suggesting we go on food stamps and medicaid this past time Brian was unemployed. We didn't want to. We did the best we could. We made it work. We did have to go the Bishop's storehouse a few times to help us get by but we didn't get food stamps or medicaid. We lived on our own until we just had absolutely no other choice but to move in with my parents. I am proud of us for making it work for all of that time. I am so grateful for food from the storehouse even though that was humiliating and degrading and hard, too!
With the economy it took a long time to find a job. "They" (whoever THEY are) say that the typical wait for finding a job in accounting right now is about 15 months. We know people who have been looking for work for well over a year. We feel very blessed that Brian was able to find a good job after just 10 months. Just 10 months...those were 10 of the longest...hardest...scariest 10 months of my life! When we talked about how just last September we went to Disneyland. Before the rug was pulled out from under us in October. I tell ya, looking back it feels like it was at least 3 years ago!
People we know would tell us about jobs that paid $8-$10 an hour and then wondered why Brian didn't apply. Unemployment paid more than that. We HAVE to have more than $8-$10 an hour. Hello...we have 4 kids, almost $1,000 we have to pay in student loans payments a month, and life! I don't know who in the world could support a family on $8-$10 an hour. Judge all you want but the fact is: The economy SUCKS! Sometimes LIFE sucks! Don't judge me or anyone else when you don't know my heart! You don't know the hell I've been through! You NEVER know what is going on in anyone else's life and that is exactly why YOU SHOULDN'T JUDGE ANYONE...EVER!!!
My health problems have given me such empathy for people. Sometimes the grumpy person at the grocery store just found out they have breast cancer. Maybe someone they love just died or is missing. Maybe they are in so much pain that getting to the store and making it through the whole shopping experience with all 4 of their children in tow, is incredibly difficult and excruciating for them. Maybe they are struggling with infertility and just had to hear someone be cruel to their child in the store and it's all they can do to not break down in tears and beg to the Heavens...WHY?! Maybe they have been married for 19 years, never owned a home, moved 17 times, is in horrible pain, their husband just lost his job, they are worried how they are going to put food on the table for their 4 children or clothes on their butts, and they are just trying to make it through the store without going postal! You just NEVER know! There should not just be a category that you lump EVERYONE into and think of them as lazy, horrible, ungrateful, losers. You DON'T know their heart or their exact situation!
The crazy part about my Facebook "friend" is that just a few days after he wrote that post, he wrote another post. He said how you should never judge another because you just don't know what is going on with them and you just should never, ever judge anyone. I seriously wanted to smack him! WHAT THE HELL?!?! Does he realize what a hypocritical jerk he sounds like? I felt berated and so very judged by what he said just a few days before that and NOW he's going to say how horrible it is to judge others and you should never do it! Oy Vey!! I've forced myself not to respond to him. Others said how amazing he was for being such a non-judgemental person and how they really needed to hear that. I wanted so bad to just say, hmmm, that is really interesting that you would say that after the hateful message you wrote a few days ago that was full of judgement and hatred! So, I just decided to say my peace on my blog instead. It's much safer that way I suppose. Hopefully, I haven't caused you all to hate me and judge me for the things I've shared about us on here just now. :) Love don't judge!!! The end.
1 comment:
Good post! I think we all need a good reminder! I know I've been guilty of sitting the fence - and falling off it too. I want the empathy, but I'm guilty of judging...it's a learning process and I fail quite often! I just gave my kids this talk the other night when we were discussing homeless people. Who do you help? Do you pick and choose, or ignore, comment, or turn your head and pretend you didn't see them at all? Everybody has a story and we don't know what has happened in their lives!
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