Saturday, March 26, 2011

I'm still alive...

So, I've had some major writer's block lately but I am still alive in case you were wondering. I was in a really crummy mood for a few days there. I just felt really, really discouraged. No hope. No joy. Just empty and sad. My pain had started to go away because of a combination of medications I was taking. It was still there but very dull. Occasionally bad still, but mostly dull. I'll take it!!! Well, the medicine stopped working and it upset me. A lot!!! I've also been having a time where I'm so sick to death of scrimping by and pinching pennies I could scream. Just not in very good spirits. Low. Very low. Then last Sunday at church Brother Banasky asked me how I was feeling and I gave him my standard answer of, "I'm ok. How are you?" Then he said, "No. Really. How are you feeling?" I told him it really hadn't been a good day, painwise. He asked if I had asked Brian to give me a blessing. I told him that I hadn't even thought about it with the crazy morning we had getting ready for church. But I did ask Brian for a blessing after church and it was a really beautiful blessing! Brian even explained some neat feelings he had as he gave me the blessing. After that I had a REALLY low few days and then on Wednesday I was able to talk with my friend, Sherelle and she helped me talk some of my feelings out. Then that night some very kind members of the Relief Society came for a visit while I was at YW and Brian talked with them a bit about me. They just recently found out about my health issues and wanted to express concern and support. Our wonderful bishop called later and talked with me. Having so many people reaching out to me and praying for me really has helped me these past few days. I have felt so much happier and have had more energy and strength than I have had in such a long time I can't even remember. I know with all my heart it is because of a Priesthood Blessing and the prayers of others on my behalf. I am so grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ. I am thankful for my membership in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I am thankful for all of the inspired programs of the church. I am thankful for members of our family, members of our ward, and friends who follow the spirit, and try to live like Jesus and serve others in His behalf.

Tonight I went to The General Young Women's Conference Broadcast and a wonderful dinner that the Stake YW Presidency prepared for us. It was a wonderful night. I so enjoyed visiting with the leaders from our ward and the YW from our ward who attended. The broadcast was wonderful as well. I am so grateful for my calling. I am so grateful for my YW leaders when I was a YW and for the amazing General leaders of the YW. At the end of it Elder Eyring talked a bit about the challenge in the Book of Mormon that Mormon gave to everyone who reads it to pray and ask for the witness of the spirit testifying to them that The Book of Mormon is true. It made me remember when I was in college and fervently reading The Book of Mormon. I will never forget how I felt as I got to that part in The Book of Mormon and how strong my desire was to pray and know for myself that it was true. I already had felt the witness of the spirit telling me the words were true throughout my reading but I just felt strongly that I should accept the challenge and pray for that witness. I had a lovely and sacred experience that I will never forget as I prayed and received that very strong witness that it was indeed the true word of God. It was so strong and powerful that when I have struggled at times in my life since that moment I CANNOT deny the truthfulness of the book!!! It is the most wonderful feeling and I feel so strongly that everyone should get that witness for themselves as well. Especially in this day and age when there are so many evil forces surrounding us trying to lead us astray. We HAVE to be steadfast and immoveable in our commitment to living the gospel. Having that strong witness and testimony can be THE thing that keeps us going no matter how hard it gets.  I am so grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who knows me and loves me and never gives up on me, even when I give up on myself. I am so grateful for my Savior Jesus Christ who loves me and suffered my sins and pains and challenges and frustrations and sadnesses and everything that I go through. I am grateful for His compassion and understanding. I am also so very grateful for the Holy Ghost and His companionship. For His comfort and peace that buoy me up and carry me through the hard times I face in this life. I know with all my heart and soul that nothing else on earth can bring us such joy and bring our spirits such comfort and peace than living the gospel to it's fullest and bringing ourselves closer to the members of the Godhead through our faithfulness and diligence in keeping the commandments and asking for their help when we need it! I love them and I am thankful for them. I am thankful for a wonderful husband and beautiful children that keep me going. I know I am incredibly blessed and I am so grateful for all of the many blessings I have been given. I know I am so far from perfect and that I have so far to go but I am so happy for the patience and love of my family and my Father in Heaven!!!

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