Tonight I watched Julie and Julia. It is a combination of my two favorite forms of entertainment...blogging and cooking! It was very enjoyable! It is a true story about a woman that is feeling really lost and finds a way in her busy life to enjoy the love she has for writing by blogging. I can relate completely since as many of you know, I started this whole blogging thing during a melt down time in my life. I just didn't feel like my life had meaning or purpose beyond cooking, cleaning, laundry. UGH!!! I told Brian I felt like I had lost my joy. I didn't know who I was anymore. I felt lost and confused and alone. Being a stay at home mom and wife is not very rewarding at times. Being a mom and wife in general isn't very rewarding at times. You work hard all day long and at the end of the day no one can tell what you did all day, including yourself, because it's all a mess again. It sometimes feels like you're trapped in the movie Groundhog Day. But if you know that is what you are meant to do it's a wonderful thing most of the time. I have my days of feeling really frustrated but most of the time I do love what I do and I wouldn't change it for anything. I just was in such a rut and don't know why but it really sucked and I haven't felt like that since. THANK HEAVENS!!! I think I just had to really evaluate myself and see if this is really what I wanted and needed to do. Once I knew the answer to that question it's been good and I have joy in what I do and realize it is what I WANT and NEED to do!! It's not for everyone but it's for me. Blogging kind of saved ME I guess. The me I couldn't find in the middle of my mom world. It helped me feel like I could do something for me and that was ok. I started out thinking it was a great way to keep family and friends updated on our lives since they don't all live close and don't get to see the kids. It turned into a hobby, passion, ADDICTION!!! I LOVE writing and have always dreamed of writing in some capacity and this is just kind of a fun outlet for that. It also is kind of a journal and that has been super great to go back and read old posts and feel so happy that I actually have a record of our life. It was also a connection to the outside world for me. I totally NEEDED that!!! And still do! Facebook has added to the fun of that of course but blogging is where it started for me. It also at times is kind of like a scrapbook for me without the huge mess for my kids to attack.
It turns out that very few family members are interested enough to ever read my blog and that's ok. It stopped being for that a long time ago. It's my silly, quirky little outlet and I know that many people just don't "get" it and that's ok too. For those of you who DO "get" it and read my blog...THANK YOU!!! I love knowing others like my blog! It makes me happy! I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE getting comments from people. I was so sad when my blog was broken and I couldn't get comments.
I'm trying to be brave enough to actually write a fictional story. This particular story has been floating around in my thoughts for about a year now. I'll let you know if I do it. OOOO Scary and exciting all at once!
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