Just call the WAAAAmbulance...

We've got a whiner here!

In November it will have been a year since I was finally diagnosed with Trigeminal Neuralgia. It took quite a few months to get my medicine right but now that it is right I am virtually pain free. I only have occasional pain. I can bend over to pick Gracie up or stuff off the floor just fine now. That alone is such an amazing difference and has made life a lot easier I must say! I just really really hate being on medication. I really do! I'm so weird. Loopy. Forgetful. Tired. I have to take Pepcid because my medications make me have horrible heart burn. I just hate having to deal with it. Yesterday at church I was embarrassingly weird. It was SOOO hot in the building and I had only eaten cereal at like 8:00 and by the time Sunday School rolled around I was really shaky and feeling really weird. So when it was my turn to read I sounded like a kindergartner trying to read. It was very choppy and strange. Then after Sunday School the ladies had to walk past me to go to Relief Society and these ladies that I am friends with wouldn't even make eye contact with me. I think they didn't know how to act. I actually take unrighteous pride in the way I read the scriptures and the comfort I have developed when reading scriptures. Not many months ago I was really upset to read in front of people but I finally felt comfortable doing it and then I humiliated myself in front of the whole ward by reading them so strangely yesterday. At Matthew's baptism I embarrassed myself by thinking that Stan was supposed to do the talk on the Holy Ghost instead of baptism and I said it loudly in front of everyone there. So embarrassed!!! There was something else like that that happened that weekend but I can't remember what it was. I'm not on pain medications since they don't affect the nerve. I'm on Lyrica and Amitriptyline. They are both used for lots of different ailments but they work to treat the nerve. It's so hard! My choices are: Be in excruciating, horrendous, searing pain all the time, OR be pain free due to medication that makes me really weird all the time. Well, you know, weirder than normal!  :)  I'm trying to be positive about Brian's job ending in January but I'm totally freaking out. Stress is a trigger for pain from the TN. I just hope and pray that he'll find some work before the job ends. I am really grateful that he has a little time before the job ends! HUGE BLESSING! I just worry so much because I know that the job market really sucks right now! I am trying to have faith that it will all be ok. We had a really fun weekend which was great! We went to our neighbor's baptism, we went to our friend's little girl's super fun birthday party and BBQ. And we went to the ward soup and bread fall social. It was great too!  Yummy soups and fabulous homemade bread and rolls, and banana splits for dessert. That is one of our family's favorite activity for the whole year! Sunday was so relaxed and calm that I just had too much time to think about things after church. NOT a good thing! Today I just need to get super busy again so I don't have time to think. I worked twice this weekend doing my little Hallmark job. I LOVE IT! I went Friday and Saturday nights at 8:30pm and got home at I don't remember what time on Friday but midnight on Saturday. It's entertaining to see all the people at Walmart that time of night! I'm going to end this post with a picture because there needs to be something positive on here! Sorry I'm such a downer today. Next time I'll be more positive I promise. Sometimes I just need to wallow in self pity and get it out of my system.

One day I walked into the living room and saw these 2 like this. Just snugglin' in the recliner. I just had to capture this sweet moment!