I'm scared!!!!

About a year ago I started having a LOT of pain on the right side of my face. It ran across my lower jawbone, my upper jaw and cheek bone, up to the top of my head and everywhere in between. My teeth really were the worst. It felt as if I had a HORRIBLE toothache and the pain radiated from it all over. I had a tooth that had had some problems for years and a dentist had told me I would probably have problems with it the rest of my life because of the issue with it. Well, I was in such constant pain, needing round the clock medicine for it that I finally just asked Dr. Bailey to pull it. I kept having pain in my teeth and would go in for visits and Dr. Bailey suggested a couple of times that I see a TMJ specialist. I never did make a special, costly, trip up to Salt Lake to see a specialist because I just couldn't see going all the way up there just for me and besides the pain wasn't consistent with what I had read about TMJ. Well, this entire year I have experienced this pain in varying degrees MOST days. Each time I would get a tooth fixed I would start feeling pain in another tooth. Then I would suffer with it for weeks because it's such a pain in the butt to make it to a dentist appointment. My biological father and both of my biological grandmothers wore dentures so I just figured I had bad teeth genes and eventually that would be my lot. Usually when he would fix a tooth it would feel better for a few days before I noticed another one hurting. Sometimes the pain was bearable, sometimes I needed some ibuprofen, about 4 weeks ago it really intensified and I was back to using ibuprofen round the clock and 3 teeth were bothering me. I called Dr. Bailey's office and had to wait a week to get in. The pain got so bad the weekend I went to Manti for baptisms for the dead which was Halloween weekend that I was taking 4 ibuprofen and a Darvocet we had left over in our cabinet and I was STILL in pain. I was also taking some sinus medicine because I also started feeling a LOT of dizziness, pain and pressure that made me wonder if I had a BAD sinus infection on top of it all. Well, I called first thing Monday morning and they got me right in. He did an x ray and said my teeth looked fine but I had a cloudy sinus that I have 2 teeth growing into and he thought the dizziness could be from an inner ear infection because my ear hurt too, everywhere on that right side hurt too but sometimes tooth pain radiates so I just thought it was teeth. Well, I took the antibiotic he prescribed and showed very minimal improvement if any at all. My mom was like, you NEED to go to a Dr. so I finally did and it is IMPOSSIBLE to see a doctor the day you call the doctor's office in this town. Maybe just if you are a new patient, but Dr. Etzel was the only doctor in town that could get me in the next day so I went to him. He said he thinks I have a condition called Trigeminal Neuralgia a.k.a Acute Facial Pain. I saw my regular doctor Dr. Harrison on Friday in Provo for my yearly visit and she is a family practice dr, a DO, she delivered Gracie. She is AWESOME!!! I really trust her judgement. I explained my symptoms and she said she thought it was Trigeminhal Neuralgia and I hadn't told her his diagnosis. Dr. Etzel had sent me to have a C.T. scan Thursday. He told me he wanted to do the scan to eliminate the sinusitis as an issue but that he REALLY thought it was the trigeminal neuralgia and that he would give me details and talk treatment after the results of the C.T. were back. Well, his office called Friday and said that he wanted to discuss the results with me in his office and then she told me something I can't remember how she worded it but basically it was a message from him and it was letting me know that it is the trigeminal neuralgia. What I've read and what Dr. Harrison said is that often times you have a tumor that is putting pressure on this nerve in your head causing the pain. Sometimes it can be caused by M.S. Sometimes you have had an infection of some kind and it can trigger this condition. Sometimes you just get this condition for no apparent reason. Dizziness is not a symptom of it. And either are some of my other symptoms. They didn't have any openings to discuss the situation until Monday at 11:00. So I have been a wreck all weekend waiting as patiently as a very impatient wife and mother of 4 little kids can possibly wait to hear whether she has a tumor in her head or not. I keep thinking about words I've waited to hear in my life. I love you from Brian. Will you marry me? Forever. You are pregnant! It's a boy! It's a boy! It's a boy! It's a girl! Mama! How exciting and thrilling those words were to hear. How exciting the anticipation was as I waited to hear these beautiful, life changing, glorious words! I'm terrified of the words I will hear on Monday. Of course my mind has gone over all of the possibilities. If I hadn't had so much pain, and if the dizziness and pain had not debilitated me so much these past weeks. If I wasn't fully aware that this has gone on for an ENTIRE year meaning that if I have a tumor it has grown in my head for at LEAST a year. Why didn't I listen to Dr. Bailey and see that specialist a year ago? Maybe they would have figured it out all that time ago. If I hadn't lived in this town, in the 8th ward for about 7 years, off and on I might think it couldn't happen to me. But you can't live in that area and watch so many around you get diagnosed with cancer, M.S., or other diseases and not realize...it can happen to anyone! I'm scared! Really, really scared! How do you tell your children you have something wrong with you. I don't want to have to know the answer to that! Prayer is a beautiful thing! It is the first step towards experiencing a miracle in your life! It is comforting and healing to the body or spirit or both. I was going to wait to blog about this until after I had the results. Instead I decided to ask for your prayers. Please pray that it isn't really anything major. Please also pray that I will have the strength to endure whatever the answer might be. Whatever HIS will is for me. Thank you friends....