Scary.....

Last night I was sitting on our bed, Brian was sitting in our rocker recliner, and Gracie was crawling around on the bedroom floor playing with toys. I looked up to check on her at one point and she was looking at me with her big brown eyes with her head cocked funny and with it wedged under the front left corner of the rocker. Panic coursed through every vein and I told Brian not to move and ran to Gracie. After pulling her out from under the rocker I held her tightly to me and kissed her sweet face and shook as I considered the damage that could have been done to my beautiful daughter if her 200 plus pound father would have rocked forward onto her little head. I have been completely freaked out ever since! I woke up at 3:30 and after a few minutes that picture of her head under the rocking chair and her big brown eyes looking at me popped into my head and I can't get it out of my mind. It literallyl leaves me sick to my stomach!!! I pray every morning that our children will be protected from harm and serious accident since they are generally CRAZY and I worry all the time about them hurting themselves or each other. Sometimes that prayer gets to be routine but yesterday morning I just really had an uneasy feeling and prayed sincerely for each of them. I am so grateful that prayer was answered!!! If I hadn't been in the room or hadn't looked up just then who knows what would have happened. I am just so grateful for her health and that everything is ok but now my mind is running over the "what ifs". What if I'm not around if she does that again. What if one of the kids is sitting in the rocking chair if that happens again. What if...what if...what if?! Why do minds do things like that at 3:30 A.M. when you don't have anything else to distract your brain. Anyway, I know that sometimes things...just happen. That is the scariest part of parenthood for me. Knowing that some things either...just happen or things happen for a reason that we don't want to happen and we don't understand the reason and it's not what WE want and there isn't anything we can do about it. We just pray and hope that things work out and hope that if they don't work out like we hope that we'll have the strength to endure that challenge. Now I just hope my mind will shut off after I shut off this computer and will let me catch some much needed sleep...wish me luck!!!